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From Friends to Lovers – Does it Work?

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What happens when you go from being friends to lovers? I’ve always had males as friends since as long as I can remember. I have several male friends who are like brothers to me. There’s nothing they wouldn’t do for their girl and the feeling is mutual. So this post isn’t about those type of male friends. I want to talk about the male friend who you may have had some type of romantic thought about but instead of either one of you acting on it, you kept it in the “friend” category.

There’s a thin line between going from being friends to lovers. What if things don’t work out? Will you lose a good friend? Can it ever go back to the way it used to be? Is it really worth losing a friend over?

But on the other hand, who knows you better than your friend? Doesn’t it make it easier if you’re friends first? Shouldn’t your mate be your best friend anyway?

Have you ever gone from being a friend to a lover? If you’re no longer together, are you still friends? What were some of the pros and cons?

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7 Responses to “From Friends to Lovers – Does it Work?”

  1. LaShaunda says:

    I married my friend. We celebrate 11 years next month.

    We’re taught not to date our friends, but that’s who we should date. The person your free to talk with, who makes you laugh and knows your secrets.

    I spent many years not dating my friends because I didn’t want to mess up the relationship.

    I’d rather my husband be my best friend, than just my lover. When things happen to you, who do you call? Your bestfriend. MY BFF is my hubby.

    I plan on teaching my children to fall in love with a friend.

  2. Shelia says:

    LaShaunda, how sweet. I remember being hurt when an ex-fiance & I broke up. I think it hurt me more because I not only lost my man, but I also lost my best friend.

  3. don says:

    Good topic. I don’t really know if a good friend can become a good lover. It seems they could, but then what happens when the relationship ends – seems to me there’s no way you won’t lose both.

    LaShaunda, you are blessed.

  4. Shelia says:

    Don, losing both is hard. But you do get past it. :)

  5. We’re married. I dated my best friend, we broke up and lost touch twice, and on the third time of reconnecting we decided it was meant to be and we wed. The good thing is we spend all our time together because we are best friends. We do everything as a family, but also it’s just like we are hanging out. When we dated I went every where with him and his friends because we were still use to me just being one of the guys. So for me it worked well. I think we will always be friends no matter what. My mom married her best friend and even after they divorced, they became great friends again, once the wounds healed.

  6. Shelia says:

    Wow, that’s cool to hear Mrs. Grapevine. I love to hear things like that. The “romantic” in me. I’m friends with one of my exes. I wasn’t able to be his friend though until I got past the “breakup.” He’s now a good friend. We even go to the movies together on occasion.

  7. Eb says:

    This is a tough topic for me. I have a lot of guys that are just friends… and would never cross that line like you’ve mentioned before. But then I’ve had those close friends that I havent seen in a while and upon the reunion things have happened. I dont regret any of the situations and I think the foundation determines whether or not you can still have a friendship after you have been romantically involved. I’ve had one bad experience because I am so tough when it comes to relationships and I fell for a friend who took advantage of that. I let him in much faster than any other guy because he was my friend, and he saw how I did the men before him, and knew he had an edge and took advantage of that. Waited until I fell in love and was running the streets like crazy. It took me a while to get over him… but we are still friends today. We were both young, and I forgive him…. and it doesnt make me bitter about dating someone who is a friend now. I think the foundation of the friendship is the key as to whether or not you can remain friends if things go sorry… and that chemistry shouldnt be ignored… so if its there… try it out!

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