1) DON’T send your kid out to knock on doors until you’ve first taught him/her proper Halloween etiquette. “Give me some candy!” and “Is that all you’ve got?” are not acceptable substitutes for “Trick or treat! and “Thank you.”

2) If you’re 13 years old or older and you’re thinking about knocking on my door and asking for candy . . . DON’T . . . unless you’re looking to be embarrassed or have the police called on your behind.

3) If you’re thinking about letting little Ashley dress up like Peaches the stripper or Kitty the call girl, and calling it a costume . . . DON’T! That mess is SO NOT cute.

4) If you forget to buy candy, DON’T try to substitute those stale mints and those dried up sticks of gum that have been sitting in the bottom of your purse or in that dusty bowl in the living room forever. That’s just nasty . . . and trifling.

5) If you’re one of those anti-sugar freaks, DON’T pass out toothbrushes and dental floss–sheesh, just turn out the lights and keep your durn door shut.

6) DON’T send your child up to my house clutching one of those big, green, 30-gallon sized trash bags, unless he/she is pretending to be a sanitation worker. It’s Halloween folks, not garbage pick-up day.

7) If you’re sitting in the house in your drawers, getting your drank on, when the door bell rings, do us all a favor and just DON’T answer it.

To read the rest of Lori’s 13 Trick or Treat Don’t, CLICK HERE.

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Filed under: Just Because

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