Should You Go Dutch?
For those of us still in the dating arena, it seems the older you get, the dating rules change.
Last month while visiting a few blogs, I ran across an interesting topic–about when the man should or shouldn’t pay for dates. Well, I’m old fashioned and feel that the man should pay for the date. Now yes, there are some exceptions, but for the most part, that’s just how I feel. I can pay for my own meal, movie or event so if I wanted to go dutch, I would go with some friends with an almost guarantee I’ll have some fun. If I’m on a date, the man needs to pay–plain and simple.
A man who is interested in a woman has no problem spending money on her. Now if he doesn’t want to part with his hard earned cash, then that’s the first sign he’s not really into you. Maybe I’m spoiled but even men who are “just friends” offer to pay when we go out. Now here’s the exception. If the man is considered “just friends” I sometimes treat them, even after they protest.
Back to men who are trying to be more than “just a friend.” I don’t believe in the going dutch, but that’s just me.
What about you? Should the woman go dutch when dating? Why or why not?
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Filed under: Dating • Relationships
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A man who is interested in a woman has no problem spending money on her.
I’ve been out of the dating scene for almost 20 years but I tend to agree with you. In fact, I heard Michael Baisden, the radio host, and George Wilborn, the comedian, express this exact sentiment a couple of weeks ago on their show. Men have no problem paying if they’re truly interested, and if they do when they’re trying to woo you, imagine how hard it will be to get them to come out of their pockets when they believe they’ve won you.
“Men have no problem paying if they’re truly interested.”
Patricia W, exactly.
Okay I’ve been married for eight years now. But back when I was dating I don’t remember doing dutch a whole lot. I did take turns every now and then. Especially when I was in undergrad and graduate school dating other students. They didn’t have any more disposable income than I had. So I didn’t see anything wrong with me paying the bill every now and then. Or if they cooked for me, I’d cook for them… taking turns… Maybe I would have had a different outlook if I was in the workforce dating folks in the workforce… I don’t know… Good questions.
Gwyneth
Gwyneth, yes, I think it’s totally different when you’re in the work force; although my attitude about it was the same even when I was in college.
I hear ya Gwyneth…I haven’t dated in 17 years…and since I have my own…if I was dating Dutch wouldn’t bother me…BUT if he asked me out on a date then he better come correct and pay for EVERYTHING…lol. And vis-a-versa if I ask him out on the first day then I will do the same. Now everyday after that we can decide what we’re going to do…I’m not opposed to dutch but it needs to be discussed upfront…and not when the $200 bill comes for dinner…lol.
“I’m not opposed to dutch but it needs to be discussed upfront…and not when the $200 bill comes for dinner…”
LOL…Yasmin, although I don’t believe in going DUTCH, I always have my own money. I won’t get stuck washing dishes for nobody…lol.
If the man asks the girl out… he should definitely pay. in normal rules the man should pay for the first 4 dates and then if a 5th date happens the woman can then start to offer to pay. I dont mind sharing the bill at all, especially if we are not really feeling each other. But if there is good chemistry, I think its only right the man pays if he wants another date