Welcome to this week’s advice corner. I’m not a relationship expert, just a writer who writes about relationships. Feel free to add on your own opinion.
Dear Shelia,
I have dated a man for four years. I love him and he says he loves me. We are both busy people so we don’t see each other a lot. At first it was okay, but now I would like to see him more often. I briefly discussed this with him. He said that at this time, he would not be able to see me more frequently. What should I do?
Signed Yearning for more
Dear Yearning for More,
Four years is a long time for an open relationship. Sounds like you’re no longer satisfied with a piece of a relationship. Now that he’s told you he’s not willing to see you more often, you have some serious decisions to make.
In the past, he’s had the luxury of spending time with you and doing whatever else without it being an issue. The decision to continue on this path is yours. Why do you want this relationship? Is it really love or just the fact that he’s convenient? You seem to be at a point where you’re wanting more. If this is true, then you will begin to pursue other options; otherwise you’ll be at status quo with another year ticking by yearning for more.
If you have a question, feel free to email me at askohshelia@aol.com or leave it in the comments field.
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The fact that she says, “he says he loves me”…makes me wonder if she truly believes it or not.
Honestly I have more questions than answers. Why was this just a “brief” conversation??? What was dude’s reason for not wanting to spend more time with her?
After four years of this type of situation, she should probably cut her losses and keep it moving.
i agree @ otherwise you’ll be at status quo with another year ticking by yearning for more. yep. and hating the fact that she allowed another year to pass, knowing she wasn’t happy. i learned the hard way. a relationship glued under the label of “convience” is an awaiting disaster.
Opinionated Diva, I’m with you…after 4 years I think if he wants a committment, he would have pushed for one.
Don, and usually the one pushing for more of a committment will be the one left holding the short end of the stick.