Love at First Sight – Yes or No
Dear Shelia,
I think I’m in love with a guy I just met. I’m thinking about telling him how I feel but don’t want to ruin our relationship before it really gets started. Before now I didn’t believe in love at first sight. Have you ever experienced it?
Woman from the East Coast
Dear Woman from the East Coast,
I think there’s “lust” at first sight. Love might develop from those lustful feelings eventually, but it’s hard to truly love someone when you don’t know anything about that person; when you don’t know any of their characteristics; when you haven’t had any type of interaction with a person. I’ve seen surveys that both men and women believe there is “love at first sight” and in fact, I asked this question to a few males myself and out of the males asked, 95 percent agreed that “love at first sight” exists.
After reading your question, I tried to recall if I had ever fallen instantly in love. I came up with zilch. Now lust, yes. Just yesterday, I crossed paths with a man with the prettiest smile and could fill out a pair of levi jeans. He was sexy and I was immediately attracted to him, but love, “no.”
I guess you have the answer to the second part of your question. No, I have never met a man who I instantly fell in love with.
Love is hard enough after you get to know a person. Don’t get me wrong, I’m a “hopeful” romantic and would love to meet a man and him and I instantly fall in love like in the movies or some of the romance stories I write. But in reality I don’t see it happening.
In reality, I think there can be an immediate attraction. In reality, I think love can develop from that attraction. In reality, I think when both adults feel the same way about each other,love is a beautiful thing.
One question to ask yourself, would you believe a man if he told you after meeting you a few times that he was in love with you?
Readers, have you ever experienced “love at first sight?”
Thanks for reading today’s question at advice corner. I’m not a relationship expert, just a writer who writes about relationships. Feel free to add on your own opinion.
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Tagged with: Ask Oh Shelia
Filed under: Dating • Relationships
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The first time I went out with my husband, (now my ex) I knew that I would marry him and I did.
I’d have to say NO to the “love at first site” thing.
I have had “lust” at first site and “damn…if I was a whore named Bunny I’d sack him right now because he’s just that sexy” at first site….but definitely not “love at first site”.
Jackie, wow, that’s amazing. I have never experienced the “love at first sight.” This guy I dated for about a month said he was in love but I didn’t feel like he knew me well enough. He started telling me he loved me and it made me uncomfortable. When I told him that I wasn’t “where he was” yet, he got mad and I haven’t heard from him since. So was it love–I don’t think so. I think he thought I would fall for any guy who said those three words.
Ms. Freckles, I know what you mean. We have to make sure that we don’t get the lust and love confused. lol
My take is that anything that happens “at first sight” may be biological, but it certainly isn’t love. True lasting love takes time. Also it must be vetted and tested to know if it’s real or just infatuation. And if you’re following THE RULES, you should wait until he professes his love to you. Otherwise you risk being rejected…Why not let him take the risk?
Never experienced it and dont feel it exists… Lust at first sight… now I’ve had that on plenty of occasions… but how can you love someone instantaneously and you dont even know them.