If you’re single or have single friends, then you know dating isn’t easy. When you first meet someone, unless it’s a friend of a friend or family member, you really don’t know much about the person. You don’t know what’s behind the mask. We have to take what that person says at face value; hoping they are telling the truth. There are some instances however where our instincts will alert us to some things that just ain’t right.
Don’t put your guards down until you know who you’re dealing with; otherwise you’re setting yourself up as a target for the manipulator and/or the predator. Both kinds are eagerly waiting to find their next victim and doesn’t care who they have to pretend to be or how many lies they have to tell to get what they want—your trust, your heart and in some cases access to your wordly possessions. Usually if it seems too good to be true, it is.
Some of my friends have been going through some things lately and some of it could have been avoided if the blinders weren’t removed so early on during the dating process. At a certain age, the person should have some stability in their lives. Someone who is a drifter when you meet them will drift away as soon as the tide comes; so don’t be surprised when you wake up one day and they’ve gone on, leaving you alone.
I think it was Maya Angelou who said, “If someone tells you who they are, believe them.”But not only listen to them, observe them. If something doesn’t add up, take notes. There’s a reason why it’s not adding up; don’t ignore it.
Attaining success does not happen by accident. It takes thought, planning and action. Often, when we miss out on success, it’s because something is off with our approach. For many, the gap falls in one of three areas: how they think about success, how they plan for it, and how they act to make it happen.
You can change your results when you change what you are doing. First, your thoughts: Get your thoughts together. That means get clear about what you want. Take a bit of time to write down what you want to achieve and why. This will help you get clear on what you want so you know where you are going.
Next, organize that thought into a definable goal. That means adding substance to the desire. Instead of just saying, “I want to shed a few pounds,” for example, define how much weight you will lose and in what kind of time frame. Instead of simply saying, “I want to bring in more money,” define how much more money you will make and in what kind of time frame.
Now, plan for your goal. Write it down. If you don’t write it down, it doesn’t exist. It’s not enough to “wing it” or to just have it in your head. Take your plan out of your head and put it on paper. This helps turn fuzzy notions into a definitive strategy.
Writing down your plans also will help you see if you are missing steps to achieving it. A written plan gives you something to examine and tweak, if necessary. If you skip the step of writing down your plan, you have nothing to examine.
Finally, you must put some action behind your plan. That means putting deadlines to your plans and actually doing what you’ve written down! Many people fail right here because they keep revising the plans or they let life sidetrack them so they don’t take action. What’s the point of getting clear about what you want, then planning for it, if you’re not going to do it?
Here is what your three point approach to success looks like.
Your three-point approach to success:
Think about what you want to achieve. Get clear about it. Quantity the goal using specific details such as numbers, time frame, etc.
Plan for the goal. Write down the steps you will take to reach this goal.
Act on your plan. Attach real deadlines to each step of your plan and stick to them.
Follow this simple three-step approach to success, and you will get results.
Monica Carter Tagore speaks and writes on success, goal achievement and entrepreneurship. She is the author of Zoom Power: Your Key to Hitting Your Personal, Business and Financial Targets. Learn more at www.knowledgewealthseries.com.
Be sure to stop back by tomorrow as Monica Carter Tagore discusses – Program Your Mind To Achieve Your Goal.
No matter how busy you are, you likely have some dead time on your hands. That dead time could be the thing standing between you and your success.
If you’re like most people today, you seem to have more on your to-do list than you can possibly achieve on any given day.
Well, you need to tweak your to-do list.
Here is the deal: You can’t do everything you’d like. And only a few things you need to do will really have the biggest impact. So focus on the few to get the biggest bang out of your day.
Go over your to-do list. Consider each item that’s on it. Now determine which one or two items have the potential to make the most impact today. Which items are important enough to you that, if you did nothing but those two things, you could produce amazing results? Now, focus on those two things.
Designing your day for success means making tough choices. Perhaps you would like to do all the things on your to-do list, but if you want to get results, you have to choose which of those things you will focus on, and which you will either move to another time, let someone else handle, or drop altogether.
Popular culture has brainwashed us into believing that we can have it all, and all at the same time. That is a fallacy that is setting a lot of people up for failure. The concept of having it all, all at the same time means ignoring the power of focus. It also forces us to pursue unrealistic goals. So instead of trying to do every single thing, choose the one or two that will have the biggest impact for you.
It may take a bit of getting used to at first, when you’re used to trying to fit so much in, but once you start approaching each day with focus, you will meet with success. You will zoom in on the high-impact tasks and move to complete them. Suddenly the number of completed tasks will increase because you are giving appropriate time to what’s important, instead of rushing through a bunch of unimportant tasks as well.
Here are four questions to ask about each task on your to-do list. Asking these questions will help you figure out which are the most important tasks to tackle on any given day:
What will be the impact of this task if I complete it?
What will be the impact if I do not complete this task?
Will completing this task move me closer to my ultimate goal?
Is there anyone else within my organization that I can allow to complete this task instead of me?
What you may discover is that you’ve been spending too much time on tasks that may need to be done, but do not need to be done by you. If that is the case, are these tasks you can completely eliminate or are they tasks which need to be handled by someone else? For instance, if your strength is writing books and speaking on your book’s topic, should you outsource your accounting or bookkeeping responsibilities? If you need to focus on bringing in new sales, should you really be the one dusting the office and dumping the trash? Which of your tasks need to be done by someone else, allowing you time to focus on what you do best?
This same concept can be applied at home. Perhaps it’s now time for you to hire someone to help with housework, or for the rest of the people in the household to take on some chores so all of the work does not fall to you. This could give you more time to do the most meaningful tasks, and still make sure other tasks – such as mopping – still get done.
Design your day for success by focusing on what is most important.
Monica Carter Tagore speaks and writes on success, goal achievement and entrepreneurship. She is the author of Zoom Power: Your Key to Hitting Your Personal, Business and Financial Targets. Learn more at www.knowledgewealthseries.com.
Be sure to stop back by tomorrow as Monica Carter Tagore discusses – Your three-point approach to success.
This week besides the regular relationship topics, I’ll be showcasing helpful information from Monica Carter Tagore as she offers tips on pushing you closer towards your goals.
Monica Carter Tagore is the author of Zoom Power: Your Key to Hitting Your Personal, Business and Financial Targets.
Learn more about Zoom Power & Monica Carter Tagore below:
What is Zoom Power about: Zoom Power: Your Key to Hitting Your Personal, Business and Financial Targets helps release people from their self-imposed limitations. Many people want to be successful in life, but they think they can’t attain it. They think success is something only “other” people have. But Zoom Power helps readers see success isn’t some mysterious force bestowed only upon a “lucky” few, it’s accessible to anyone who chooses to go after it with focus and perseverance.
What are the keys to success? Two elements essential to success are focus and perseverance. These are the elements that make up the Zoom Power Equation for success. These elements are critical because focus – concentrated effort – creates power. Perseverance is important because it protects against the natural inclination to be discouraged at a disappointment. Perseverance is key because on the way to our goals and dreams, we will meet some hard times, but if we persevere, we can keep moving on and emerge on the other side of disappointment to find success.
What are some strategies people can use to implement what you suggest in the book? Well, there are several strategies. One is to get clear on what you want. Most people are hazy about what they’re working toward. So get clear about what you want by defining your goal: instead of just saying you want to lose weight, say how much weight you will lose and in what kind of time frame. Another strategy is to write down your goal. If it’s not written down, it’s not happening. Taking a goal from your head and putting it on paper kind of seals the deal; it makes that aspiration more real.
What are some other suggestions from Zoom Power: Well, there are several. One is this: Guard your mind. What I mean by that is you can’t entertain all the negative thoughts floating around. When you are on your road to success, you’ve got to fortify yourself with fuel for the journey. That fuel is confidence. One way to build confidence is to see the potential in your opportunities and not dwell on doubt, misgivings and the negativity of others. That may mean you’ll have to reduce – or eliminate – conversations with certain people. It may mean you spend less time reading certain things that don’t support where you are trying to go. We can’t control the thoughts that enter our minds, but we can control what we choose to entertain and embrace.
What if others think your dream is crazy? Well, it’s your dream, not theirs. That means you sometimes have to be your own best cheerleader. You have to believe in the crazy. It may seem weird or off the beaten path to others, but if your dream is worthwhile, then believe in it. You will see it in your mind long before others see it in reality.
You present the counter argument that we can’t have it all. Isn’t this a bit unorthodox? Well, it may not be what people want to hear, but it’s true. And, quite frankly, liberating. The thing that gets people into trouble is trying to do every single thing on their to-do lists and to be everything to everyone. You can’t have it all, so stop trying. That means make some smart choices and do those things that are most important or pressing.
Lots of people hear inspiration, but it doesn’t seem to work. They read books that are inspirational. They attend conferences and events that are uplifting. Yet, they seem to remain in the same positions they were before reading the books or attending the events. What gives? Well, this is the thing about inspiration. Inspiration is something that sparks a thought. It gets you thinking about the possibilities for yourself. But you must then take that inspiration and turn it to action. Whether it’s Zoom Power or some other information source, the information source is there just to get you started. You’ve got to act upon what you learned.
Tell us about Monica Carter Tagore. What do you do? Well, I am the president of a copywriting, design and publishing company and am the publisher with my husband, of Knowledge Wealth Series, www.knowledgewealthseries.com, which is an online resource for entrepreneurship and business for creative people. We launched this project as a way to help other creative people learn how to turn their talents and expertise into impact and income. Many people have talents or abilities but are unable to turn those into real businesses. We give people information and assistance in doing that. We offer articles, books, e-books, coaching and other resources. I also speak on entrepreneurship, success and empowerment through workshops and keynotes.
What other projects are you working on? Well, Knowledge Wealth Series keeps me pretty busy. We are constantly working to add resources to the Knowledge Wealth Series Web site. So I write a lot of articles on business and entrepreneurship, and lately, I’ve been conducting a lot of workshops. We’re sharing the Zoom Power message of personal empowerment so more people realize they can create unlimited success in their own lives.
What do you do when you’re not writing books, speaking or working? Well, I work a lot, because there is so much I want to accomplish. But when I’m not working, I like to watch movies, read, travel, go out to eat and spend time with my husband, typical things. I try to work out on a regular basis, and am more successful some weeks than on others. And during football season, you can find me watching football – most often the Dallas Cowboys.
We’ve all heard the saying “Why buy the cow, when you can get the milk for free.” More than likely it was an older and wiser person telling us this. Not sure if the young men heard this, but this was something that was told to us when we were young ladies.
There’s some truth in the saying. Too bad we don’t find this out until we’re much older. Experience is life’s best teacher at times. I’m sure it’s hard for a man to figure out when they’ve come across a woman of Grade A quality because they’ve been handed the goodies on a silver platter without having to bring anything to the table.
We have to stop allowing certain behavior from men. Once we do that, the man will have no choice but to get their act together.
What are some other things said to you when you were younger that you wish you would have listened to?
If you’re single or have single friends, then you know dating isn’t easy. When you first meet someone, unless it’s a friend of a friend or family member, you really don’t know much about the person. You don’t know what’s behind the mask. We have to take what that person says at face value; hoping they are telling the truth. There are some instances however where our instincts will alert us to some things that just ain’t right.
By Guest Blogger Monica Carter Tagore
