Lately I’ve been having conversations with people who are playing one or more of these roles with the opposite sex. There comes a point however that we have to evaluate our relationships and de-tox. I’ve said what I have posted here before but it’s worth repeating. As women, we naturally want to play the role of rescuer and it must stop–immediately.
Here’s a list of 5 types of personality traits that you should avoid: (If you see yourself as one of these, it’s time to reevaluate.)
The Rescuer - Do you find yourself trying to rescue a man from this or that and most of the time himself? Enough already.
The Nurturer - Are you his mama? No, so why play the dual role of lover/mama…sounds perverted doesn’t it…so stop.
The Warden - Okay, now don’t get mad, but having your man on a strict schedule sounds like there are trust issues. If you have to monitor his every move, then maybe he’s not the man for you.
The Dog Catcher - Bow wow…need I say more…you know he’s a dog, he was dating three other women when you met him, but you still allow him into your heart.
The Landlord - Time is precious. Have fun, but be wise. Why let someone rent space in your heart when you know they are not the one.
I’m sure there are other personality types I could touch on, but these five are the ones that come to mind and if you don’t watch it you’ll be caught up in a toxic relationship.
What other personality traits should you be aware of that could lead to a toxic relationship?
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May 15th, 2008 at 2:46 am - Edit
hahaha this is like singleblackmale but for women. cool.
May 15th, 2008 at 11:28 am - Edit
Thanks AnythingBlack for stopping by. I try to talk about things that concern women here and I don’t forget about the men either. If you ever want to do a guest blog entry, you’re welcome to do so.
May 15th, 2008 at 12:32 pm - Edit
This made me laugh, especially the “dog catcher”. Hilarious.
I usually steer clear of men that spend too much time talking about all the CRAZY things their ex did. She didn’t get that way on her own.
May 15th, 2008 at 12:53 pm - Edit
I usually steer clear of men that spend too much time talking about all the CRAZY things their ex did. She didn’t get that way on her own.
Exactly Opinionated Diva. Makes you look at the guy with a sideway glance.
May 15th, 2008 at 3:04 pm - Edit
Perhaps the Historian is one to be added as a trait to avoid. This is the lady (or man) that relives the past…often. Nothing wrong with growing from your past mistakes but everyone isn’t like Mr./Ms. Wrong that you left behind.
May 15th, 2008 at 4:48 pm - Edit
i like this post, sheila.
it’s funny how i have experienced pretty much every last 1 of these females. damn, what does that say about me.
May 16th, 2008 at 12:11 pm - Edit
Great blog. Early in my marriage I was “The Vocational Counselor” always trying to guide my husband in his career decisions. The profession that he is in now was actually my idea.
Thank God my husband was a good sport about my meddling or there would have been some trouble!
May 16th, 2008 at 12:19 pm - Edit
I have to add one more thing. A lot of young women, myself included (I was clueless in my 20s) do NOT know how to behave and carry themselves in a relationship. And we think it’s the righteous thing to do to Nurture and Rescue and to keep track of our guy.
Further how about all of the “Dog Catcher” women who need that challenge in order to be attracted to a man. They love the bad boys no matter how much pain it causes, no matter how our self esteem plummets in these relationships.
We do it because we do not know what else to do! We may intuitively KNOW better, but we don’t know how to DO better.
May 16th, 2008 at 12:44 pm - Edit
such a sweet soul. sheila. thanks.
May 22nd, 2008 at 9:24 pm - Edit
Leah, yes we have to do better and remember that some things are within our control.