Shopping for Shoes & Why Using the N Word Is Not Cool

Posted by Shelia on May 23rd, 2008 | 11 comments

Even after the ceremony burying the use of the “N” word, I see it used more often than before. Nas even stirred up some controversy because he was adamant about his CD title being the ”N” word. He has since changed his mind because he probably realized that if he wanted his CD on the market, he needed to change his way of thinking. Kudos to the record company for standing their ground on this issue.

I was at the store recently looking for me a pair of heels to go with a dress when out of the blue this guy uses his cell phone (don’t you just hate it when folks talk on their cell phones out in public and are LOUD). He’s calling one of his friends. Here’s the conversation from his end (he’s at the front of the shoe store and by now I’m going down one of the aisles, but yet I can still hear his conversation):

“What’s up N****?”

Apparently his friend doesn’t hear him the first time, so he says again, “What’s up N****?”

I’m like, dang his friend must be D-E-A-F.

Now by now I’m walking down another aisle passing by this blond haired white woman trying on shoes. A cute pair of shoes catch my eye and they happen to be right across from the white woman. The guy says again, “What’s up N****?” I do a side glance at the woman to see if she heard him (I know she did because he was talking loud). She looks embarrassed. I don’t even look directly at her.

It was obvious the dude didn’t think anything of it. He could care less he was in public. The friend finally heard or understood what he said, so he stopped using the “N” word and they went on to talk about the basketball playoff games. Now if the white woman would have used the “N” word in greeting, he and everybody else Black in there would have been quick to whoop her behind.

My thing is if you don’t want other folks to call you what is a derogatory word then why use it in the first place.

Do you use the “N” word and if so when or when isn’t it appropriate?

Jackie Moore says:

May 23, 2008 at 10:30 am

Excellents point Shelia. Too bad others don’t realize how much they embarrass not only themselves, but the rest of us too.
Neonnea says:

May 23, 2008 at 1:53 pm

Not a big fan of the use of the N word. If used, I use it in the right context: Negro. An appropriate place to use the N word is in the privacy of your own home, if that’s justifiable.
Yasmin says:

May 23, 2008 at 2:42 pm

Feeling you Shelia; I don’t use the N word and would be pissed if anyone used it in reference to me regardless of skin color…cause I AIN’T YO’ xxxxxxx!
don says:

May 23, 2008 at 2:58 pm

i tend to use it only around my homies, or as a term of endearment. i probably should stop using it. but it’s become a part of my vocabulary. saldy it has.

i think when people maliciously say it, is where the true problems lies.
Shelia says:

May 24, 2008 at 10:49 am

Jackie, yes it’s embarassing.
Neonnea, I hate the use of the word period.
Yasmin, exactly. I don’t like the word regardless of whose mouth its coming out of.
Don, I think more men use it than women but I may be wrong. If it must be said please/PLEASE don’t do it in public. We’re trying to get folks to stop using it. To me it’s not a term of endearment.
Shaye says:

May 25, 2008 at 10:44 am

Great post! I had a long talk with my students about this. They think it’s a term of affection–referring to each other as N****.

It’s a big turn off for me and I prefer not to use it. Some of my family members (I come from the country. LOL) use the term. We’re around family so it doesn’t bother me but if we were out and about..I just might cringe a bit.

As always, Goss.. I dig your blogs. Keep it up.
Dr. Linda Beed says:

May 25, 2008 at 12:16 pm

Shelia there is an adage that says “I can’t do what you say for seeingwhat you do.

This is not a term of affection. It is an extremely derogatory term.

Sadly there are some who have yet to grasp the connotation of its origin, therefore they use it without thought. Continued use of the word shows that they do not realize how devalued they have become in the enemy’s plan.

Linda!
Shelia says:

May 27, 2008 at 10:17 am

Shaye & Dr. Beed, sadly folks do have it confused. I don’t know if it’s because of the generation gap or not. I’m from a younger generation but I realize how negative of an impact that one word had on my forefathers/mothers. I don’t embrace negativity.
Eb the Celeb says:

May 28, 2008 at 8:03 pm

I usually say Nig… not the whole thing and usually only around my peeps… but I was in the line at wendys a couple weeks ago and 3 latino teenagers were behind me and kept saying it… It took everything for me not to slap one of the little boys. When did it become alright for latinos to say it or refer to themselves as it?
E.Knight says:

May 28, 2008 at 9:55 pm

I use the “N” Word less than i used to but it flows so naturally in my conversation that i stop to substitute with another word when I’m in company of mixed age, gender, or race. When I’m amongst those who refer to themeselves as the N word aka “my niggaz” that’s when i use the word, when i’m not amongst them or when someone older who has lived through the struggle of the civil rights era is around, I fall back. It’s pretty simple to me
Anon says:

June 3, 2008 at 5:54 am

I use it with my friends but am very, very careful not to use it around my family. To be honest I don’t know what my older sister’s reaction would be if I accidentally slipped.