Friday, August 8th, 2008 at 12:51 am
Wednesday, August 6th, 2008 at 12:01 am
Dating and the Job Interview
By Shelia M. Goss
Dating these days isn’t as simple as it used to be. Even when a friend or family member introduce you to a potential mate, you have to be selective and interview them. You need to know more about them than what kind of car they drive, cell phone number and email address.
Before getting seriously involved with someone there are things you need to know before letting them into your innercircle. Have you met any of his family or friends? How do they interact? What is his religious preference? What information is he volunteering? Most men live by the motto: ”don’t ask, don’t tell,” so get your list together and the next time you’re face to face, ask. Ask, not interrogate. Be prepared however to answer the same questions honestly. It’s only fair.
If there’s any questionable things, why not invest $29.95 and do a background check. You’re probably saying if I have to go through that much trouble, why bother. Wrong. Think about it. If you were hiring an employee you would do a background check; so why not check out the guy you’re willing to bring into your world. Whether you pay $29.95 or ask probing questions to your potential mate and those who know him, check him out before making a committment. Wouldn’t it be nice to have 3 references as required when applying for a job?
Monday, August 4th, 2008 at 10:59 am
I don’t want to piss off my male readers but as I listen to my friends talk about some of the men in their lives or men they’ve encountered over the past few weeks some of the guys actions verify why women label some men as dogs.
If you are married or in a committed relationship, do not and I repeat do not pretend to be single and/or available. Real quotes from real men who got busted:
“I’m seperated. We’re just staying in the same house.” (The economy is rough, but come on now. Can he come up with something better than this.)
“I would have told you I was married but I didn’t know how you would take it.” (When did omitting information become so normal???)
“We’re getting a divorce. If you don’t believe me ask my home boy.” (I had to laugh on this. A man’s friend is going to lie to keep up the pretenses; besides, he don’t want his friend to mess up what he has going on.)
“The reason why I haven’t invited you over to my house is because I’m still decorating. I told you I just moved didn’t I?” (If anyone believes this I got some land in the pacific ocean for sale.)
“Oh that’s just my baby’s mama. Ignore her. She just tripping because I moved on.” (Hmm. If you let them talk long enough they’ll tell on themselves. Why is she answering your cell phone? Why didn’t you ever mention you had any kids before? No respect for a man who denies his own kids.)
If you are single and not ready for a committment do not pretend that you are just so you can have access to the goodies.
Don’t think you calling “other” women a “b” or “h” in casual conversation is not disrespectful. If you say that about other women, then there’s no telling what you say about the woman after she leaves your presence.
A woman is not there solely for you to deposit in.
Hearing you brag about all the women you’ve had is not cute. It does raise an eyebrow or two about whether you’re disease free.
Friday, August 1st, 2008 at 11:44 am
Thanks to everyone who came out to see me at the Book Festival in Shreveport a few weeks ago. I want to give a special shout out to some of my myspace friends for showing up. (Kourtney sorry the picture didn’t come out).
I sat on my first panel. The topic: How the Romance Genre Empowers Women. I shared the stage with authors Beth Cornelison, Connie Cox, Winnie Griggs, Joanna Wayne and Lenora Worth. In the group picture, I’m the second one from the left 
Kimberly Banks and her daughter, mother and daughter team-Heather and Carmen Lee and writer Mitchel Whitington are some of the writers in the other pictures.
A good time was had by all. Hope to see you there next year!
The August newsletter has been posted. Check it out: CLICK HERE.
Friday, August 1st, 2008 at 12:01 am
I’m not sure of how many people watched the CNN special Being Black in America. Although I thought the show only portrayed what the media already portrays about Blacks, I do give Soledad credit for even trying. If another special is done, I would like to see more of a balance. What was shown on the special was only one aspect, not a broad view. Offer solutions instead of highlighting the problem.
Whether you’re Black, Hispanic, White, etc…it shouldn’t matter. What should matter is your character? How can we develop the character of our kids if we’re always having to explain the ignorance and hatred of some people’s actions?
Do you think our society will ever be color-free?
To add some food for thought, here’s a poem I wrote on the subject.
Color-Free
© 2008 by Shelia M. Goss
The color of my skin shouldn’t define me
Because when I go out of this country,
American is all they see.
My Brown-sugar, Caramel, Ebony, Hershey-chocolate,
Mahogany, Mocha, Vanilla complexion
Is only an outer shell.
You have to dig Deeper,
If you want to know
What’s embedded in my mind.
My skin color might hint to my Races
Past struggles and pain,
But don’t lose the fact that we’re
Individuals and not all the same.
One day I hope we can all
Be one big happy family
In the meantime, I’ll leave a legacy
To the younger generation.
Show by example on how to get through
Life’s complications.
I will teach them how to love
Through my own interactions.
I will show them how to give
And not wait for someone’s reaction.
I will encourage them to dream and not
Let society dictate who they can be.
I will show them the benefit of believing in
Oneself, but most of all in a Higher Being.
I hope to see the manifestation of my vision
A society that’s COLOR-FREE.
www.sheliagoss.com
