Archive for September, 2008

Day 7 – No Scrubs

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Remember the group TLC as they blurted out the lyrics - “I don’t want no scrub…a scrub is a guy that can’t get no love from me.”

That song came out almost ten years ago but for some reason I thought about it last night as I was reading a couple of blogs, one being 7 Strangers.

Some folks will try to make you feel bad because you hold men accountable for their actions. I think if we’re being real with each other from the beginning it will save heartache and headache for both parties.

A wise person once told me to only settle for what you think you deserve. Why shouldn’t that apply to all areas of your life? Why did it take me getting in my 30s before I actually realized what they meant?

As I look at some of my past associations with the opposite sex I have to admit that I’ve ran across a few scrubs myself. I thought I could clean them up and make them be more than they were. So I settled, although in my mind I thought I wasn’t. One bad relationship made me realize the errors of my ways and as one of my friends would say – I saw the light. Once the light shined, I vowed not to return down that type of path again. However, it still hasn’t stopped some scrubs crossing my path–I just know how to recognize them and no longer give them my time.

Pearls of Wisdom: You can’t change a grown man. Oh, it may seem like he changed but it’s temporary and overtime, the “real” man will return. Another Pearl of Wisdom: You Can’t Turn a Scrub into a Boyfriend.  If you do, you’ll have a huge mess to clean up afterwards–whether it be your heart, your spirit and if he’s a leech, your finances too.

Don’t fall for the line most scrubs like to use – “Black women don’t support their Black men.” That’s bull. They know it and we should know it. I don’t know a Black woman who hasn’t supported Black men (even when they didn’t believe in themselves, we’ve been there).  Don’t let guilt corner you into giving a scrub a try.

As I countdown to my big day this is one area in my life that I’ve scrubbed CLEANED up. I don’t settle anymore. My expectations when it comes to the opposite sex is high.  I know that there are good men out there that have the qualities that are compatible with me.


Getting Ready for the Time of My Life

Just Curious

1. When will McCain realize choosing Palin as a running mate doesn’t mean he’s ready for change? Why did he bite off Obama who has been talking about change since day one? Does McCain really think women are stupid and can’t see through his choice? Did he really know about the skeletons in Palin’s closet before choosing her? Hmm…Just curious.

2. Does anyone care that Britney Spears opened up the 25th year of the MTV Video Music Awards show? Did anyone even see the awards? I got bored with it and ended up watching Army Wives on Lifetime instead and then later the nightly news. There was something missing from the VMAs or maybe it was just me? Hmm…just curious.

3. Speaking of the VMAs, what is the fascination with Lil’ Wayne? Even folks like Olympic gold medallist Michael Phelps is listening to him on his ipod. Can someone please tell Lil’ Wayne the next time he has a performance on national TV to stop showing his underwear. His white pants were almost down to his knees. Can somebody get him some suspenders? I admit I’ve listened to some Weesie. I like the beats of his songs, but can someone please tell me what the heck he’s saying? Shout out to the boot state.

4. Why is Gary Coleman (Different Strokes) back in the news? Didn’t the overzealous fan who was so excited to get his picture realize if you walk behind a moving vehicle you may get hit? Come on now, it was Gary Coleman behind the wheel. Some pictures aren’t meant to be taken. 

5. Why do I still find episodes of Sanford & Son, Martin and Seinfeld funny? I’ve seen probably every show of these shows and still laugh at some of the scenes. You know you’re funny when you’re not even trying to be funny. RIP Redd Foxx—a comedy genius.

6. Why after saying that I was not going to watch another reality show I am drawn to the VH1 show I Want to Work for Diddy? Why is Unforgivable for men the best smelling men’s cologne I’ve smelt since Issey Miyake? If you have a man, at least get him a sample and if you don’t have a man, get a sample and spray it on your teddy bear.

7. Why is my birthday coming up in a week and I’m wondering if anyone will remember? I’m sure they won’t forget because of my reminders…smile. Is 40 the new 30? I hope to find out.

8. Now this one here really baffled me this past week. If people are providing me shelter and feeding me, why would I be on national TV complaining because it doesn’t have the comforts of home? It’s called temporary shelter for a reason. It’s not meant to be the Hilton. Some people seemed to be ungrateful for the kindness that my people showed them during last week’s evacuation. Would you rather take your chances drowning or would you welcome shelter on higher ground where you’re safe with three square meals a day?

9. I love me some Tyler Perry but why have I been watching House of Payne all summer and missed the episode when the son gets married. That’s just like watching a movie for 2 hours and then falling asleep on the ending. Why???? Oh and speaking of Tyler Perry. Can we make Tyler Perry’s new movie – The Family that Preys number one at the box office this coming weekend? Yes we can. We can also make Barack Obama president so we need to go out and vote in November. Since I’m giving everybody else plugs—it’s not too late to make Double Platinum a hit—order your copy of my latest book by clicking on the link on the right hand side.

10. Last but not least, why am I fantasizing about Prince playing 1999 on his purple guitar while wearing that sleek purple jacket over his birthday suit at my birthday party? I can dream can’t I? Since that might not happen, why did I hint to several people that for my birthday they can get me Prince’s new book and even described to them the perfect place—a place on my nightstand right by my bed. I’ll let you know after my birthday if those subliminal messages worked. (if you’re reading #10 – it might be working…ROFL) 21 Nights by Prince

Do tell…what’s on your mind today?

This Woman’s Roar by Guest Pat G’Orge Walker

Today I have the honor of having author Pat G’Orge-Walker stop by my spot. She probably doesn’t remember this but I met her back in 2001 (long before I had a book published) on this cruise (I was the bright-eyed aspiring writer with glasses  eager to learn as much as I could). I got a chance to speak with her and another author, Sara Freeman Smith, one night over a late night snack during the 7 day cruise. I’ve been a fan of hers since.

patwalkeandbook.jpegThis Woman’s Roar 

By Pat G’Orge Walker

Now let me start off by saying that I’m a registered Independent. Having long ago decided that both parties had lost their minds and moral compass. None-the-less, this Presidential election has been riveting. I’ve been so caught up until I didn’t learn until last week that Maurice Benard (Sonny) of General Hospital was leaving the show after all these years. And, I love that man! But I digress.

It’s been almost forty-eight hours since Republican presumptive nominee, Senator John McCain, announced his running mate. Of course, his choice of a relatively unknown Alaskan Governor, Sarah Palin, as his Vice Presidential running mate caused me to scratch my head, pinch my arm and holla…”What tha’ Ham and Cheese!”

However, this Republican vice presidential selection coming on the heels of the outstanding and historical Democratic event where the Old Guards, Kennedy and Clinton passed the torch to Senator Obama was not a total surprise. Almost thirty-eight million homes and counting witnessed Senator Kennedy pass it with a smile and handle-first. The Clintons’, not so much. Bill and Hillary did the party thing with the added punch of extending the torch with the blaze hot enough to singe the smooth skin of Barack. But they did give him a “supportive” band-aid with their speeches. So, therefore, when Biden was chosen Vice Presidential pick, McCain’s pick was no accident.

I can imagine Senator McCain probably slept little the night before and after making that disengenuous video of congratulations because he was too busy chuckling, wringing his hands, tapping the sides of his bloated cheeks for lack of a handle-bar mustache. He no doubt bellowed, “Move over Cindy, I’ve picked a Wife-N-Law for ya.”

“This is not funny, John.” Cindy responded while bobbing her head in agreement.

“Oh, come on. You gotta have a sense of humor.” John replied.

Now Cindy McCain might fall for the old okey doke. I’m not. I can imagine old slick John grinning and saying further,

“I’m just choosing this gun-toting, less-than-two years of experience, young mother of five, flipflopping on the Bridge to nowhere thingy, caught up in a scandal, big oil gal, because the Democrats didn’t choose Hillary and you know I need those votes.”

“I’ve always loved my country so I’ll go along, John.” Cindy gushes while nodding her head like a babble-head doll.

John, not fully trusting women since he cheated on and left his first disabled wife for Cindy smirked and continued, “You’ve seen my wrinkles and my medical report. With one foot in the dirt-bed hole and the other, albeit both shod with five-hundred dollar shoes, on a banana peel, I’ve got to do this. Now you be a good little Republican Stepford Wife and move to the side. And, make sure our cook knows how to cook Moose ala chutzpah.”

Well, Senator McCain… understand this. My vote is important to me and I’ll not give it up just because this woman and I share the same chromosone. You, Sir, cannot joke about rape, say that you put your country first, meet this woman once before and convince me to vote my confidence in you. I’m not convinced. I’m insulted. This is less about Senator Obama and more about your judgement.

The radio motor mouth, Rusty Limbaugh, summed it up perfectly, “Palin=Guns, Babies, Jesus,” he wrote in an e-mail. “Contrast that to Obama’s bitter clingers. Obama just lost blue-collar, white Democratic voters in Pennsylvania and other states.”

And that’s a shame. After all the campaigning to be included in this United States of America…Republicans have lowered their expectations of a United America to race. If McCain was so correct than why would they have to gloat about the possibility of pulling “White Democratic voters.”

With the hurricane, Gustav, bearing down with all it’s force just before the Republican Convention, I’m reminded that the rain falls on the just and the unjust.

As McCain so often likes to quip when trying to hide a hand that threw a rock, “I’ll let the American people decide.”

This is just one woman’s roar!

A little about Pat G’Orge Walker:

3 Things about me that others don’t know:

    1.    My husband is a highly decorated veteran of the Joint Terrorist Task Force.

    2.    My cousin is Lt. General Julius Becton, Jr. He was Head of FEMA from 1985-1989. He was also listed as one of the 100 Most Influential Blacks in America.

    3.    My sister Lorraine who is still wowing crowds with her vocal skills is a former backup singer for Stevie Wonder and was once a Ikette.

Two Lessons learned in the literary world:

    1.    Remember it is a business and there is no better promoter than you.

    2.    When retaining an agent make sure to research and get references. Not everyone who hangs a sign is honest and knowledgeable. Pray about everything!

Pat G’Orge Walker  is an Essence Best Selling and Award winning author of several books, including Somewhat Saved  and Cruisin’ On Desperation.   To learn more about Pat G’Orge Walker a/k/a Sister Betty, visit her site: www.sisterbetty.com.

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I was a Guest on IDW Radio

I was a guest on IDW (I Date White) radio (www.blogtalkradio.com/I-Date-White) on 9/3/2008. It was a great interview with host: Eathan.

Check it out when you get a chance. We discussed books, my thoughts on interracial dating and politics.

The EDC Creations Interview

Last week I was interviewed by Ella with EDC Creations. Check it out:

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