This week, I will be doing a special series – What Do Men Want? on my blog. You will hear directly from the men themselves. Each day a new question will be asked and each one of the men on the panel, will have his say.
Meet the guys who finally had their say on what they want from women and what they find important in relationships:
Ralston, Age: 34, Occupation: Software Licensing Consultant
Tony, Age: 30′s, Occupation: Director of Operations for three mental health facilities
John, Age: 46, Occupation: Project Manager, Author
Dino, Occupation: Actor, Director
Luther, Age: 37, Occupation: Software Developer
Eathan from Idatewhite.com, Age: 39, Occupation: Sales/Business Owner
Eddie, Age: 44, Occupation: Salesman
SBM (aka SingleBlackMale.net), Age: 25, Occupation: Software Developer / IT Consultant
What do men REALLY want?
Ralston: Brothers really want a woman who understands that being a man doesn’t necessarily mean he’s a dog. He wants someone who will allow him to be the man at all times, not selectively, and definitely not someone who tries to control him.
John: A woman I can call my own who will let me love her unconditionally and vice versa, she does the same. A woman who can be independent (if she must), but also recognize and realize a relationship is a union of two hearts acting and loving as one. A woman who knows the meaning of the word support and the phrase, I will always be there for you. A woman who is beyond the games in life and realize life is meant to be lived, enjoyed, cherished and loved.
Dino: I want a God fearing woman. I do not know about other brothers.
Luther: We are very simple creatures. Not really driven by emotions. A man is really easy to please. We do not want too much in relationships. By that I mean one that has too many requirements. We never really grow up. Give us some room to go and play sometimes. Good sex, a meal and an occasional Poker night with the boys makes me happy. A woman that has goals in life; a woman that looks through godly eyes; not seeing all the bad habits of her man, but looks to enhance the good attributes of her man.
Eathan: I would say a cool woman…someone that you can have fun with, relax with…not high maintenance. or nagging. She needs to hold a conversation…and be HWP aka not over weight.
Eddie: Brothers after 40 want a woman who is interesting, attractive, driven and fun to be with. We also want her to be self supportive and a “freak” in the bedroom.
SBM: I am the wrong person to ask this. I’m still trying to figure out what I want myself, but I guess there are some basics. I once told someone I wanted four things from a girl friend: Honesty, Companionship, Monogamy, and Sex (actually this is #1). I think I could live a happy life with those four things … given that we “click”. No point in trying to force something i.e., personalities clash.
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Well, alright, what honesty! Thanks for doing this, so for those who didnt know, now they know…
Blessings!
angelia
I had to turn down my Jazmine Sullivan, so I could fully concentrate and read.
This is very good info. I’d like to know why men say “they’re not ready,” once they get everything they asked for. I’ve heard various diff reasons because I’ve been there a lot. Eventually I end up walking away (and they are ALWAYS surpised) but I feel like they want you to wait on them so to speak.
But in this book I’m always quoting, “He’s just not that into you,” the author says that if a man is really feeling you’ll, he’ll break his neck to let you know and step up the the plate. Hmmmm…..
@Angelia – Honesty is what we want and they are giving it to us
@ Nicki – Good question. I’ll save the question and ask this to the panel for the next time.
This was very interesting but what I want to know is what Luther was trying to say by making this statement:”Give us some room to go and play sometimes.” What do he want his woman to be okay with him playing with other women!!!??? Inquiring minds would like to know. But like always good blog Shelia!!
I’m glad I was able to participate. I’ll be happy to help you next time too Shelia. Just let me know when.
Shelia good post. I’d like to see these guys pics. a little eye candy while i read.
Digging these honest responses. I dunno if I agree with ‘giving them room to play’..hell, they can get a puppy for that. LOL. It’s all groovy.
Meachy, I will email Luther and see if he can stop by and answer your question.
Eathan, thanks again and I’m sure there’ll be more opportunities
TheComeback Girl, we’ll see about that for the next one.
Persia, let’s see if Luther will stop by.
I was not speaking of playing around with some other women. The sentence before that should have given some indication what I meant. Play just meant have some time to not be responsible for anything (Wife/girlfriend, kids, job).
I have a full time job as a software architect and I own a trucking business. Have 3 kids and a wife. There are occasions that I do not want to think about any of that. I need to go lose some money playing poker or maybe fish (without the cell ringing telling me want I need to do). I guess it would be called a life timeout. I would be a fool to what women drama in the mix I already have. The thang ain’t that good
John’s is a “blue plate special”response – all you could want served up on one wonderful plate
Luther.. I feel you brother. Thanks so much for the clarification.
Great post Shelia…and I’m so glad I’m not in the dating game…lol.
xoxo
Hello ladies, i am the author of What Men Desire and women need to know…first let me say this, If a man does not see value in you he will not commit to you. Men protect what they treasure. I have heard in many of the comments that we want a woman who we can have a good time with, one that supports us, and takes care of our sexual needs. Women when you hear this you must understand men are motivated by sight and touch, where as women are motivated by their emotions and things of the heart. Things of the heart are what men need to be instructed in. So when you hear these words you must make sure you do not let our need to satisfy our FLESH determine whether we think you are right for us or not..That is an EXCUSE…Most men do not commit to a woman who gives it up at the drop of a dime, no matter how often he says I LOVE YOU…if love is in the picture, love will put a ring on your finger…Now I know this is not what many of you want to hear but the truth is why would I want you if everyone else has had you…and vice versa. Now I realize not many of us are virgins and once love has been awaken it is hard to put that puppy back to sleep, but that doesnt mean you got to be so easy that he is getting it the first night out or second or third, i mean really do you think that giving it up will keep him there. Has that worked for you yet…WE PROTECT OR COMMIT TO WHAT WE SEE VALUE IN…YOU ARE A TREASURE, A QUEEN. BUT YOUR VALUE IS ONLY HAS MUCH AS THE PERSON LOOKING IS WILLING TO SPEND AND YOU ARE WILLING TO ACCEPT…
GET MY BOOK….I OPEN IT ALL UP…
WHAT MEN DESIRE and women need to know….WWW.POWERINTHEPIN.COM…
Luther thanks for clearing that up…..Shelia another great blog!!!
Jason broke it down.
Thanks all for dropping by.
@ Jason – I need to get that book because as Jen said, you broke it down.
I needed to hear that.Thanks for the insight Jason, I feel so much better knowing he does love me.
Thanks for the help with what men want cause I’m just starting to date again after a 20 year marriage, divorce and then a 12 year relationship gone sour.
I’m not sure of myself and don’t really know what kind of man I want. I’m a beautiful but shy woman who needs companionship. I need a man to pay attention to me. Help.