How to Keep the Spark in Your Relationship?

By Shelia M. Goss

 

 

Thanks Shelia for allowing me to take over your blog post. As readers will soon find out, although I’m cautious with my heart, I know what appeals to a man. Here are a few tips that I, Brianna Mayfield, got from Shelia Goss’ article. Of course, I have to add some of my own comments (with her permission of course…wink wink).

 

 

Contrary to what the statistics may say, women and men still need each other. Women can be independent and wanting a man doesn’t make one less independent. A man can be in a monogamous relationship without the fear of losing himself.  Unfortunately, I don’t think Jake would know how to be monogamous if you hit him upside the head with the word. He is always in the paper with a different woman on his arm. Some would call him a player. I call him a garden tool.  Why did I have to get involved with him? Well, that’s another story.

 

We have to appreciate the differences and embrace them. One good way to enhance our relationships is communication. Communication doesn’t mean just verbal, but other ways to show our mate that we appreciate them. If you are in a relationship for other reasons like me, then sometimes you might have to fake the funk and communicate anyway. (Sorry Shelia, don’t mean to be so cynical.)

 

Some things we just take for granted but when not done can cause a little friction. If you’re not already doing some of these things, try it and see what happens:

· Give your mate your undivided attention. This means that sometimes you need to let calls go to voice mail; turn off the TV; pull yourself away from email and the computer—you get the point.

· Schedule a date night. Whether it’s once a week or once a month, new and old couples need a night just to themselves. If you have kids, find a reliable babysitter. Do what you have to do so you and your mate can keep the flames burning. Keep in tune to what attracted you to your mate in the first place.

· Allow your mate some “me time.” Every now and then we all need to spend time away from our mates—whether it’s to read, a long hot bubble bath, a trip to the spa, hanging out with friends, or just quiet time alone. Believe it or not this can help your relationship.

· Give a card, send an email/text message or make a phone call “just because.” Don’t wait for special holidays or birthdays to show that you care. Do something every week, if not every day to let your mate know you’re thinking of them. And not out of any obligation, but because of your genuine affection towards them.

· Share a part of yourself that you don’t share with anyone else. This helps create a special bond and should bring you closer.

· Make a special CD with both of your favorite songs. Don’t forget to make duplicates so you both can have a copy in your cars (smile).

There are so many other ways to make your relationship stronger, but these are a few simple things that you can do. Remember to take the time to REALLY get to know your mate’s likes and dislikes. Don’t be afraid to cater to their needs.

Brianna’s final thought: If you’re ready to end a relationship or want the other person to end the relationship, stop doing the above things immediately.

Brianna Mayfield is a fictional character. Read more about her in Shelia Goss’ new book – His Invisible Wife.