Cougarish – Qualities we should Aspire to Acquire by Guest Blogger Lorraine Elzia

Cougars, women that date younger men, are the buzz right about now. Everyone’s talking about older women who have younger men as their mates, boy toys or arm accessories.

A topic that was once taboo has hit the main stream thanks to Demi Moore, Madonna, Terri McMillian and her book/movie “How Stella Got her Groove Back”, and others. May/December romances have been long accepted when it comes to the male gender, and in some cases it was considered a rite of passage for a man to enter his 40’s buy a Corvette and get a girlfriend half his age, it earned him a badge of honor. But that same behavior was considered taboo if done by a woman. The female counterpart acting in the same manner was branded as desperate and chasing jail bate.

While not condoning or condemning such relationships on the part of either gender, I think it is important for women to recognize “Why” some men are attracted to Cougars. In the same manner that we should analyze other events in our lives, we should analyze this situation and extract the positive benefits from it as well and marinate on them. There is something to be learned from everything we witness or see. Before we judge these relationships and the parties to them, let’s dissect the positive energy behind the relationship. Instead of looking at what makes a woman find comfort in a younger man, why not examine what makes a younger man chase and become enchanted by an older woman, and then use those attractions to better ourselves no matter what our walk in life may be.

Younger men often chase older women because they find Cougars to be confident, established, free from drama and sexy because they know what they want in life. Those are qualities ALL women should aspire to acquire; age irrelevant. Women need to OWN their existence and control their own domain. Being self aware and self-sufficient is sexy…it is attractive. What a Cougar’s prey loves about his predator is the aura surrounding her that she knows who she is and how she walks, as if on air, in the reality that she has invented for herself. He finds her enticing because how can he but love her when she first loves herself? He feels her love the love she has for herself and desires to part of the ménage a tois of the personal love affair she has within herself. To him she is enticing because she loves herself and is comfortable in her own skin without complaining of outer flaws to the magnificent creation of God that she is. She does not compare herself to others. She could care less about where she ranks in regard to other women, for she loves herself and that is all that matters. As he looks at the Cougar that will eventually devour him, he willingly lets himself be absorbed by her because her presence is a drama-free utopia of comfort to him. There is no silliness, or foolishness embedded in a Cougar because she has more important and productive things to do than worrying about the actions and opinions of others; and that mindset of hers propels her aged body to a more seductive place than her single-minded, yet young Coke-bottled shaped counterpart can achieve.

Being a Cougar might not be the answer for all women, but it might not be a bad idea to adopt some of her qualities and as such to every once in a while Aspire and Acquire qualities that are COUGARISH….

ABOUT THE AUTHOR
 Lorraine Elzia is the Author of Mistress Memoirs.  She is a 2009 African American Literary Award nominee for “Break-Out” Author of the year and has been featured in several anthologies including two Chicken Soup for the Soul Anthologies and The Triumph of My Soul Anthology.  Lorraine is Co-Owner of Eve’s Literary Services, contributing Editor of the “Gumbo for the Soul” series; and Co-Moderator of Essentially Women, a writing group for African American women. She is from Austin, Texas, by way of Motown (Detroit, Michigan) and it is her desire that through the written word delivered in different genres, she will be able to inspire and motivate others to see the beauty that resides within all people. www.lorraineelzia.com;www.peaceinthestormpublishing.com.

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