I am going to list three categories of books. 5 MUST Read Books, 5 Books on Your Nightstand, and 5 Look For These Soon. Keeping with the theme, I am going to tag at least 5 bloggers. They should put these same lists on their blog but SUBTRACT one book from each list and ADD one of their own. Then they should tag at least 5 more bloggers. It will be fun to see how the lists change as it goes around the blogosphere. Please come back to this post and leave a comment so I can see how the lists are changing as they go around the blogosphere. Since this is Book Buzz…please keep your lists to titles released in 2007-2009.

5 MUST Read Books:
Them by Nathan McCall
Orange Mint and Honey by Carliss Brice
Yellow Moon by Jewell Parker Rhodes
Conception by Kalisha Buckhanon                   

NoWhere is a Place by Bernice McFadden

5 Books on the Nightstand:
Song Yet Sung by James McBride
From Harvey River by Lorna Goodison
Stand the Storm by Breena Clarke
Trading Dreams at Midnight by Dianne McKinney Whetstone

Once Upon a Project by Bettye Griffin

5 Look For These Soon:
House at Sugar Beach by Helen Cooper
Midnight: A Gangster Love Story by Sister Souljah
Red Light, Green Light by Margaret Johnson-Hodge
Red Light Special by Risque

In the Night of the Heat by Blair Underwood, Tananarive Due, & Steven Barnes

I was tagged by Yasmin.

The bloggers I’m asking to post the lists (and make one book-for-book change to each list if they wish):
Gwyneth

Princess Dominique

Don

Angelia

Peggy

Have fun & don’t forget to leave a comment and let me know when your list is completed.

I have a guest post over on Romance Junkies.

Go check it out: http://www.romancejunkies.com/rjblog/?p=303

A lot has happened this week. Thought you all could use a good laugh. This dude does a great Denzel Washington impersonation. 

It’s the weekend y’all!!!

Create Your Own Countdown

If you’re a regular visitor you know I’m doing some self reflection during this count down or as I say to friends - count up to 40. What better way to start off my first edition of “Thursday Thirteen” by listing 13 things I’ve learned over the last 39 years.  I’ve learned more but for the sake of space, I’ll just stick with 13 for now (smile).

1.  God is love. His grace and mercy has been abundant in my life. He’s saved me and protected me–even when I didn’t know I needed protection.  

2.  People will treat you how you allow them to treat you.

3.  Trying to live a life without regrets is hard.

4. Learning how to forgive is easy when you realize how much Our Father in Heaven forgives our multitude of sins.

5.  You can be too nice. We are to treat each other with respect, but we are not to let someone use us. 

6. Pampering oneself isn’t selfish. Everybody needs a little “me” time.

7.  Pursue dreams now because later is not promised to us.

8. It’s okay to say “NO.”

9.  Being single isn’t the end of the world.

10. Being married doesn’t guarantee happiness.

11. Being childless doesn’t matter when you have nieces, nephews and little cousins. 

12.  Internalizing feelings can be harmful to your health.

13.  Celebrate life - because each day is a gift!!!

This song expresses how I feel. I’m wiser, stronger and better …well listen to the song for yourself

Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others’ comments. It’s easy, and fun! Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!
View More Thursday Thirteen Participants

People need to stop taking out what someone else did to them on other people.

From reading blog comments on other blogs it seems that a lot of people are holding on to grudges because someone of the opposite sex did them wrong. Three words of advice - LET IT GO.

Since I’m on this reflection quest as I approach another year,

Picture viewer | Hot Bounce

I’ll use a past situation from my past for an example. I haven’t always been the calm and sweet woman I am now. I admit there are times when I might slip back into that I don’t give a f*** mode because some man I’ve encountered is showing me that he’s full of BS.

Now where was I. When my ex-boyfriend showed his a** and hurt me beyond words it took me a minute (okay more than minute) but eventually I had to let go of the anger and move on. Before I let go of the anger, I  was hard on men. I allowed my built up frustrations to be taken out on unsuspecting men. If the guy didn’t do exactly what I wanted, he could hang it up. The new guy didn’t stand a chance. I eventually got over my anger and became the loving and kind woman that I am today:

•    one who doesn’t settle for less than I deserve (It’s important to know your worth…another blog topic)
•     one whose tolerance for B.S. is nil, but yet
•     one who can appreciate a good man who has respect for women

If you live long enough you’re going to experience some things–good and bad. I don’t know one person above the age of 18 that doesn’t have baggage. It’s what you decide to do with that baggage that matters. Are you going to let it weigh you down? Are you going to put it to the side and keep on moving? Whatever a person decides to do, in order to move on and be happy with self and the opposite sex, Letting Go is a must.

I think I’ll take y’all back in time with this old school track from Teddy Pendergrass - LOVE TKO.

This is one of my favorite tracks by Keyshia Cole - LET IT GO.

 1957-2008

I love to laugh but can’t tell a joke if you gave me the punch line. As I get older, I’m trying to enjoy life more–which includes laughing more. One man who could always make me laugh whenever I watched him in stand up or in a movie was Bernie Mac.  His laughter will be missed. 

Here are a few clips from some of Bernie Mac performances.

Warning: some profanity

This is a clip of Bernie Mac from The Kings of Comedy tour.

This is Bernie Mac talking about bad kids.

This is a clip of Bernie Mac from Friday.

This is a clip of Bernie Mac from House Party 3.

If you watched How to Be a Player, you probably remember this scene with Bernie Mac.

Read the LA Times article about Bernie Mac by clicking here.

Birthday Countdowns from 123mycodes.com As I get older my tolerance for players is nil. This is something I wrote years ago.

You Played Yourself
by Shelia M. GossYou thought your game was tight
You were on top of your game
Couldn’t nobody tell you nothing
You knew you were the man.

You got caught up in the heat
And you acted like you didn’t care
But when the sh** hit the fan
You couldn’t do nothing but beg.

See homie, I got three words for ya
You Played Yourself

You played so hard,
You got lost in the shuffle.
Thought you were getting over
But you fooled yourself

You made your bed, now lie in it.
The grass not greener over there now is it?

See homie, you gots to go
No time for the drama
No time for the lies
Just pack your bags
And please stop that crying

Surprise, a hard core man like you
Begging, and crying, and singing the blues

Well baby, no hard feelings
I just got hip to the game.

Now I’m the queen pen and you just got played.

Today begins my celebration countdown to 40. 

Birthday Countdowns from 123mycodes.com

Today I’m addressing something that I’ve read on several blogs lately. There are some Black men who are quick to label Black women as an ABW (Angry Black Women).

ABW Speaks Out
By Shelia M. Goss

Why do you call me an angry Black woman
When you’re the one constantly trying to break me down to build yourself up?
Why do you call me an angry Black woman?
Is it because I demand respect and won’t accept your disrespectful actions?
Why do you call me an angry Black woman?
Is it because when you fall, I’m the one there to help you back up?
Why do you call me an angry Black woman?
Is it because you’re an angry Black man refusing to look at your own reflection
and not taking responsibility for your own actions?
Black man you know more than anyone else how we love you.
We adore you. We appreciate the uniqueness that’s all about you.
So before you jump to call a Black woman angry–check yourself first.

Dating and the Job Interview

By Shelia M. Goss

Dating these days isn’t as simple as it used to be. Even when a friend or family member introduce you to a potential mate, you have to be selective and interview them. You need to know more about them than what kind of car they drive, cell phone number and email address.

Before getting seriously involved with someone there are things you need to know before letting them into your innercircle. Have you met any of his family or friends? How do they interact? What is his religious preference? What information is he volunteering? Most men live by the motto: ”don’t ask, don’t tell,” so get your list together and the next time you’re face to face, ask. Ask, not interrogate. Be prepared however to answer the same questions honestly. It’s only fair.

If there’s any questionable things, why not invest $29.95 and do a background check. You’re probably saying if I have to go through that much trouble, why bother. Wrong. Think about it. If you were hiring an employee you would do a background check; so why not check out the guy you’re willing to bring into your world. Whether you pay $29.95 or ask probing questions to your potential mate and those who know him, check him out before making a committment. Wouldn’t it be nice to have 3 references as required when applying for a job?

I don’t want to piss off my male readers but as I listen to my friends talk about some of the men in their lives or men they’ve encountered over the past few weeks some of the guys actions verify why women label some men as dogs.

If you are married or in a committed relationship, do not and I repeat do not pretend to be single and/or available. Real quotes from real men who got busted:

“I’m seperated. We’re just staying in the same house.” (The economy is rough, but come on now. Can he come up with something better than this.)

“I would have told you I was married but I didn’t know how you would take it.” (When did omitting information become so normal???)

“We’re getting a divorce. If you don’t believe me ask my home boy.” (I had to laugh on this. A man’s friend is going to lie to keep up the pretenses; besides, he don’t want his friend to mess up what he has going on.)

“The reason why I haven’t invited you over to my house is because I’m still decorating. I told you I just moved didn’t I?” (If anyone believes this I got some land in the pacific ocean for sale.)

“Oh that’s just my baby’s mama. Ignore her. She just tripping because I moved on.” (Hmm. If you let them talk long enough they’ll tell on themselves.  Why is she answering your cell phone? Why didn’t you ever mention you had any  kids before? No respect for a man who denies his own kids.)

If you are single and not ready for a committment do not pretend that you are just so you can have access to the goodies.

Don’t think you calling “other” women a “b” or “h” in casual conversation is not disrespectful. If you say that about other women, then there’s no telling what you say about the woman after she leaves your presence.

A woman is not there solely for you to deposit in.

Hearing you brag about all the women you’ve had is not cute.  It does raise an eyebrow or two about whether you’re disease free.