She was one of the inspirations behind my poem “What Is It.” In honor of her birthday, I’ll post it here.
What Is It?
by Shelia M Goss
Is it the sound in my voice
That makes them take a glance?
Or is it the stride of my walk
Because I’m a proud woman?What Is It?Is it the twinkle in my eyes
That keeps them looking on?
Or is it the groove of my back
Tall, Black, and Strong?What Is It?
I find myself wondering
Do They like me for me?
Or Is it the outer appearance
They only want to see?
Behind the voice and body
There’s a strong mind.
If they could only look inward
They’ll be surprised at what they’ll find.
Yes, When I speak, People stop to listen.
And to look into my eyes, you will see them glisten.
But If you take a chance and look deeper within;
You’ll see that I’m much more
than just a Black woman.
A friend of mine sent me a few links about Virgos. I read some of it and although a lot wasn’t true, I was amazed that some of the things were true. I’ll post some of the info with my comments in red.
Things About Virgos:
Virgo is known for her love of work and service to others. Virgos have a strong need to be needed and a talent for healing the sick, giving good practical advice and assistance, and solving problems for others. Their advice is usually worth following because it tends to be based on a thoughtful analysis of the pros and cons of a potential course of action rather than a knee-jerk emotional reaction.(True. I had to learn how to balance though. Before I would give more of myself to others than myself but there has to be some balance or you will get worn out. I finally realized I’m not superwoman and its not meant for me to solve everybody’s problems.)
You make a wonderful impression with your skilful insights and broad-based knowledge. Simply put, you are a most interesting person to be with. When others get to know you a little more, you can be a fascinating person with all sorts of useful titbits of information. (So true. I can’t tell a joke even if you give me a punchline, but I do like to have fun. If you don’t know me, take the time to get to know me…smile)
On the most practical level you really like to do things properly, meticulously by working through the work or service you perform on a daily basis. It doesn’t matter how small or large the task, you take pride in how well you do it. You investigate things before diving in. Once you have all the information required you complete your task to the best of your ability. (I think this is why I make a good project manager. I’m a stickler for details…some folks hate I ask so many questions and hold them accountable to deadlines.)
Others who aren’t quite as precise in the way they carry out their own work find it hard dealing with you. In your own mind there’s no point in doing anything half-heartedly. You’d rather not do it at all. You are very clear on this. (I hate when folks don’t follow up the way I think they should. I feel if someone expects something from me, then they should live up to their end and provide me with the information I need in a timely fashion.)
Time is also important to you. So you like to make sure you use it well. It would be unusual to find a disorganised Virgo. Keeping a diary and making lists are a favourite pastime of yours. Of course having the right pen and paper to keep your lists is just as important so a favourite hangout for some Virgos is the local stationery supply store. It sounds a little weird sure, but you do need to have the right pen to write with! (Two hand snaps. Time is of the essence is what I always say. I hate being late. I hate someone else showing up late. I don’t like turning things in late. I just like things done in a timely fashion.)
You are cautious about all manner of things from how much the food bill costs to what type of person is just right for you in your social or romantic life. You have a hawk eye and can spot an error a mile away. If that food bill is out by 5 cents you’ll pick it up. (Cashiers beware because I’m watching the cash register like a hawk and I also double check my ticket before I leave the parking lot. I am also cautious about who I let into my “innercircle.”)
Your Virgoan antenna is sharp as a tack and you’ll pay special attention to the fine detail of any subject matter. You’re also very well read and interested in a variety of topics. You consider yourself an eternal student of sorts. (True. I like to learn about new things because you never know when the information will come in handy.)
Some people think you’re shy and unassuming but this is only because you cautiously like to observe and analyse people and situations before jumping to conclusions. (If you know me, I’m not shy. But I am quiet around folks I don’t know. I’ve learned that you learn a lot just by listening.)
Virgos are prone to worrying, agonizing over things, and in extreme cases, hypochondria or germ phobia. (I don’t totally agree with this. I do worry about things sometimes but as far as being compulsive about it–no. I am particular about hygeine. If I’m in line and the cashier sneezes into their hands and doesn’t wipe them off or use sanitizer to clean them, I will get my stuff and go to another line.)
Virgos don’t fall in love easily and they are very choosy about their mates and friends. They are drawn to people through intellectual curiosity rather than shallow physical attraction or passion. Virgos need intellectual stimulation, and will quickly grow bored in the company of those who make small talk rather than speaking of serious, important things. (True. I don’t fall in love easily but when I am in love–I’m in love. I don’t like superficial folks. I’m attracted more to a man’s mind and how he handles himself day to day than to his physical statue…but don’t get me wrong, I like something good to look at too…smile).
Return tomorrow for when the real celebration begins–you’ll enjoy a music mix done by DJ Shelia (so don’t forget to stop on by…be there or be square).
Are you ready to get down? Turn the volume up and boogie as you listen to some songs that I’ve listened to over the span of my years. If I could make a soundtrack of my life, these would be some of the songs on it because they spark memories of fun times.
I’m having a birthday party this weekend–wish you all could be there in person, but since you can’t, you can party with me online.
Now don’t hurt nobody–let’s get this party started RIGHT–let’s get it started quickly.
A friend of mine sent me a few links about Virgos. I read some of it and although a lot wasn’t true, I was amazed that some of the things were true. I’ll post some of the info with my comments in red.
Things About Virgos:
Virgo is known for her love of work and service to others. Virgos have a strong need to be needed and a talent for healing the sick, giving good practical advice and assistance, and solving problems for others. Their advice is usually worth following because it tends to be based on a thoughtful analysis of the pros and cons of a potential course of action rather than a knee-jerk emotional reaction.(True. I had to learn how to balance though. Before I would give more of myself to others than myself but there has to be some balance or you will get worn out. I finally realized I’m not superwoman and its not meant for me to solve everybody’s problems.)
You make a wonderful impression with your skilful insights and broad-based knowledge. Simply put, you are a most interesting person to be with. When others get to know you a little more, you can be a fascinating person with all sorts of useful titbits of information. (So true. I can’t tell a joke even if you give me a punchline, but I do like to have fun. If you don’t know me, take the time to get to know me…smile)
On the most practical level you really like to do things properly, meticulously by working through the work or service you perform on a daily basis. It doesn’t matter how small or large the task, you take pride in how well you do it. You investigate things before diving in. Once you have all the information required you complete your task to the best of your ability. (I think this is why I make a good project manager. I’m a stickler for details…some folks hate I ask so many questions and hold them accountable to deadlines.)
Others who aren’t quite as precise in the way they carry out their own work find it hard dealing with you. In your own mind there’s no point in doing anything half-heartedly. You’d rather not do it at all. You are very clear on this. (I hate when folks don’t follow up the way I think they should. I feel if someone expects something from me, then they should live up to their end and provide me with the information I need in a timely fashion.)
Time is also important to you. So you like to make sure you use it well. It would be unusual to find a disorganised Virgo. Keeping a diary and making lists are a favourite pastime of yours. Of course having the right pen and paper to keep your lists is just as important so a favourite hangout for some Virgos is the local stationery supply store. It sounds a little weird sure, but you do need to have the right pen to write with! (Two hand snaps. Time is of the essence is what I always say. I hate being late. I hate someone else showing up late. I don’t like turning things in late. I just like things done in a timely fashion.)
You are cautious about all manner of things from how much the food bill costs to what type of person is just right for you in your social or romantic life. You have a hawk eye and can spot an error a mile away. If that food bill is out by 5 cents you’ll pick it up. (Cashiers beware because I’m watching the cash register like a hawk and I also double check my ticket before I leave the parking lot. I am also cautious about who I let into my “innercircle.”)
Your Virgoan antenna is sharp as a tack and you’ll pay special attention to the fine detail of any subject matter. You’re also very well read and interested in a variety of topics. You consider yourself an eternal student of sorts. (True. I like to learn about new things because you never know when the information will come in handy.)
Some people think you’re shy and unassuming but this is only because you cautiously like to observe and analyse people and situations before jumping to conclusions. (If you know me, I’m not shy. But I am quiet around folks I don’t know. I’ve learned that you learn a lot just by listening.)
Virgos are prone to worrying, agonizing over things, and in extreme cases, hypochondria or germ phobia. (I don’t totally agree with this. I do worry about things sometimes but as far as being compulsive about it–no. I am particular about hygeine. If I’m in line and the cashier sneezes into their hands and doesn’t wipe them off or use sanitizer to clean them, I will get my stuff and go to another line.)
Virgos don’t fall in love easily and they are very choosy about their mates and friends. They are drawn to people through intellectual curiosity rather than shallow physical attraction or passion. Virgos need intellectual stimulation, and will quickly grow bored in the company of those who make small talk rather than speaking of serious, important things. (True. I don’t fall in love easily but when I am in love–I’m in love. I don’t like superficial folks. I’m attracted more to a man’s mind and how he handles himself day to day than to his physical statue…but don’t get me wrong, I like something good to look at too…smile).
Remember the group TLC as they blurted out the lyrics - “I don’t want no scrub…a scrub is a guy that can’t get no love from me.”
That song came out almost ten years ago but for some reason I thought about it last night as I was reading a couple of blogs, one being 7 Strangers.
Some folks will try to make you feel bad because you hold men accountable for their actions. I think if we’re being real with each other from the beginning it will save heartache and headache for both parties.
A wise person once told me to only settle for what you think you deserve. Why shouldn’t that apply to all areas of your life? Why did it take me getting in my 30s before I actually realized what they meant?
As I look at some of my past associations with the opposite sex I have to admit that I’ve ran across a few scrubs myself. I thought I could clean them up and make them be more than they were. So I settled, although in my mind I thought I wasn’t. One bad relationship made me realize the errors of my ways and as one of my friends would say – I saw the light. Once the light shined, I vowed not to return down that type of path again. However, it still hasn’t stopped some scrubs crossing my path–I just know how to recognize them and no longer give them my time.
Pearls of Wisdom: You can’t change a grown man. Oh, it may seem like he changed but it’s temporary and overtime, the “real” man will return. Another Pearl of Wisdom: You Can’t Turn a Scrub into a Boyfriend.If you do, you’ll have a huge mess to clean up afterwards–whether it be your heart, your spirit and if he’s a leech, your finances too.
Don’t fall for the line most scrubs like to use – “Black women don’t support their Black men.” That’s bull. They know it and we should know it. I don’t know a Black woman who hasn’t supported Black men (even when they didn’t believe in themselves, we’ve been there). Don’t let guilt corner you into giving a scrub a try.
As I countdown to my big day this is one area in my life that I’ve scrubbed CLEANED up. I don’t settle anymore. My expectations when it comes to the opposite sex is high. I know that there are good men out there that have the qualities that are compatible with me.
