Back in the day, it was every little girls wish to meet her fairy tale prince charming. As we grow older, the realization of that NOT happening can hit harder than a ton of bricks. Although I’ve let go of believing in the fairy tale prince, I do think regardless of your age, your “Mister Right” is out there. No, he won’t be like the ones you read about in my books, but he does exist. Here are some things you can do that will make you feel like the superstar that you are. I like to call them the 5 B’s:

1. Be Prettty. I don’t care if you’re the CEO of your own company or a young lady working behind the counter at McDonald’s, all women want to feel pretty. We want the man of our desires to find us attractive. Being pretty doesn’t have to cost you. Try to be the best “you” by making sure when you leave the house your hair and clothes are together. If you’re not into wearing make-up, try Shock-o-late Lip Glass by M.A.C. or Wetslicks Sugar Maple Lip Gloss by Cover Girl. Accessorize: earrings, a belt, a scarf, etc can bring a dull outfit to life. Pretty is a state of mind—let it shine through from the inside–out.
2. Be Friendly. Nothing says “I’m approachable” like a big ol’ beautiful smile. If you’re in the store and pass by a man you find attractive, it doesn’t hurt to speak first. Don’t walk around frowning. Nobody wants to be around a sourpuss. A friendly gesture might be all it takes for your prince charming to give you a second look.
3. Be Fresh. Have you ever been somewhere and ran across a man where he smelled so good, you just had to know what he was wearing? Well the same works for women when it comes to attracting men. There’s nothing like wearing perfume that will get any stranger to asking—“what are you wearing?” Every body is different, so you may have to experiment until you find the right fragrance that mixes with your body chemistry. I will let you in on a little secret: Issey Miyake perfume is like an aphrodisiac. When I’m feeling flirty, I’ll wear it and I get results no matter where I am. It works at the post office, at the store, etc. Smelling good is a good first impression and opens the door for communication. Find a fragrance that works for you and let the conversations begin.
4. Be Cool. Never let them see you sweat. Life comes with its challenges, but there’s no need to have an attitude about it. Also when you meet someone who is in your eyes all that and a box of shoes, don’t sweat him. Let him come to you. If you’ve shown him that you’re approachable, then, relax and be cool. He’s the hunter; let him hunt.
5. Be Yourself. Know yourself. Know your limitations. Know what you’re looking for in a man. Don’t settle for less. You deserve the best and contrary to statistics, the best is out there. Be your best and expect the best in return.

I’m not sure if you all remember my post - Dating & the Job Interview. Here’s a short excerpt from it:

Dating these days isn’t as simple as it used to be. Even when a friend or family member introduce you to a potential mate, you have to be selective and interview them. You need to know more about them than what kind of car they drive, cell phone number and email address.

Before getting seriously involved with someone there are things you need to know before letting them into your innercircle. Have you met any of his family or friends? How do they interact? What is his religious preference? What information is he volunteering? Most men live by the motto: ”don’t ask, don’t tell,” so get your list together and the next time you’re face to face, ask. Ask, not interrogate. Be prepared however to answer the same questions honestly. It’s only fair.

What would happen if guys had to fill out an application before we agreed to date them?  I came across this application on Black Femme Fatale’s blog one day:

In compliance with applicable laws, this woman typically does not discriminate because of age, sex, race, color, religion, national origin, veteran status or disability. But because I am a woman, I can do whatever the hell I wanna do.

Question: If you’re single or were single, what kind of probing questions would you ask?

Single women everywhere are wondering where are the single men. One place they are not is under your couch. So what is a single woman to do? Well, here is one tip from a romance author’s post called the 5 B’s: Be Friendly. Nothing says…

To read the rest of this article, please click on the link below:

http://www.examiner.com/x-28527-Dallas-Romance-Examiner~y2009m11d10-Where-are-the-single-men?cid=email-this-article

How many times have you dated someone because you considered them to be “your type” based on preconceived notions? Sometimes people get involved with “their type” and then the relationship doesn’t work.  To read the rest, go to:  http://www.examiner.com/x-28527-Dallas-Romance-Examiner~y2009m11d5-Is-He-or-She-my-type

P.S. - Monday I’ll be posting some new contests so be sure to check back.

Photo Credit - Getty Images

The internet has become the new way to meet people; whether looking for a casual or long-term relationship. Although dating is dating, virtual dating adds an extra element. There are pros and cons to virtual dating. Pro - You get to learn a few…

To read the rest of this article, please click on the link below:

http://www.examiner.com/x-28527-Dallas-Romance-Examiner~y2009m11d3-Pros-and-cons-of-virtual-dating?cid=email-this-article

I’m excited to announce that I am the new Dallas Romance writer on the website Examiner.com. I need your help to be a success at it. On the days I’ll be writing over there, I’ll post a snippet here to alert you to that day’s topic and you can just click on the link.

If you’re not subscribed to my personal mailing list, there is an option on Examiner.com where you can subscribe directly there for updates.

Photographer: Chris Sharp

Check out the article I posted today: Six ways to add the spark back into your relationship

Leave your comments there or here. What other tips would you add?

I came across this article on Cosmopolitan.com:

 Single women everywhere are wondering where are the single men. As Comeback Girl said on her blog, they aren’t under your couch. So what is a single woman to do? Well, I have a few tips, I like to call the 5 B’s:

#2 on the list - Be Friendly. Nothing says “I’m approachable” like a big ol’ beautiful smile. If you’re in the store and pass by a man you find attractive, it doesn’t hurt to speak first. Don’t walk around frowning. Nobody wants to be around a sourpuss. A friendly gesture might be all it takes for your prince charming to give you a second look. 

To read my entire list, read my previous blog post: You Don’t Have to Be Beyonce to Date a Jay Z

Where are the single men? In addition to The Comeback Girls 50 Places List, I would like to add you can find single men at:

• Library
• Post Office
• Wal-Mart
• Gas Station
• Weddings/Reception
• College Homecoming–attending alumni events
• Casinos –you don’t have to gamble to mingle
• House Parties
• Neighborhood - similar to the basketball court–while you’re out taking a walk…never know who you might meet (but heed to Comeback’s disclaimer: be careful…smile)

If you were to advise your single friends, where are other places they can meet other singles?

Cougars, women that date younger men, are the buzz right about now. Everyone’s talking about older women who have younger men as their mates, boy toys or arm accessories.

A topic that was once taboo has hit the main stream thanks to Demi Moore, Madonna, Terri McMillian and her book/movie “How Stella Got her Groove Back”, and others. May/December romances have been long accepted when it comes to the male gender, and in some cases it was considered a rite of passage for a man to enter his 40’s buy a Corvette and get a girlfriend half his age, it earned him a badge of honor. But that same behavior was considered taboo if done by a woman. The female counterpart acting in the same manner was branded as desperate and chasing jail bate.

While not condoning or condemning such relationships on the part of either gender, I think it is important for women to recognize “Why” some men are attracted to Cougars. In the same manner that we should analyze other events in our lives, we should analyze this situation and extract the positive benefits from it as well and marinate on them. There is something to be learned from everything we witness or see. Before we judge these relationships and the parties to them, let’s dissect the positive energy behind the relationship. Instead of looking at what makes a woman find comfort in a younger man, why not examine what makes a younger man chase and become enchanted by an older woman, and then use those attractions to better ourselves no matter what our walk in life may be.

Younger men often chase older women because they find Cougars to be confident, established, free from drama and sexy because they know what they want in life. Those are qualities ALL women should aspire to acquire; age irrelevant. Women need to OWN their existence and control their own domain. Being self aware and self-sufficient is sexy…it is attractive. What a Cougar’s prey loves about his predator is the aura surrounding her that she knows who she is and how she walks, as if on air, in the reality that she has invented for herself. He finds her enticing because how can he but love her when she first loves herself? He feels her love the love she has for herself and desires to part of the ménage a tois of the personal love affair she has within herself. To him she is enticing because she loves herself and is comfortable in her own skin without complaining of outer flaws to the magnificent creation of God that she is. She does not compare herself to others. She could care less about where she ranks in regard to other women, for she loves herself and that is all that matters. As he looks at the Cougar that will eventually devour him, he willingly lets himself be absorbed by her because her presence is a drama-free utopia of comfort to him. There is no silliness, or foolishness embedded in a Cougar because she has more important and productive things to do than worrying about the actions and opinions of others; and that mindset of hers propels her aged body to a more seductive place than her single-minded, yet young Coke-bottled shaped counterpart can achieve.

Being a Cougar might not be the answer for all women, but it might not be a bad idea to adopt some of her qualities and as such to every once in a while Aspire and Acquire qualities that are COUGARISH….

ABOUT THE AUTHOR
 Lorraine Elzia is the Author of Mistress Memoirs.  She is a 2009 African American Literary Award nominee for “Break-Out” Author of the year and has been featured in several anthologies including two Chicken Soup for the Soul Anthologies and The Triumph of My Soul Anthology.  Lorraine is Co-Owner of Eve’s Literary Services, contributing Editor of the “Gumbo for the Soul” series; and Co-Moderator of Essentially Women, a writing group for African American women. She is from Austin, Texas, by way of Motown (Detroit, Michigan) and it is her desire that through the written word delivered in different genres, she will be able to inspire and motivate others to see the beauty that resides within all people. www.lorraineelzia.com;www.peaceinthestormpublishing.com.

Why do we believe his lie?

Hi I am VeeVeca Lavoira, Author and Evangelist. But mostly– I am a lot of woman. Today, I have a question. What makes us believe his lie? Do we feel sorry for the mishaps of a man’s misfortune so much so that we let little things slide. Like him not showing up on time? Not paying for the meal? Or, he forgot that he was supposed to do a thing. Seemingly excusing bad behavior for the “I meant to” or the “If I could I would” lines. What’s up with that?

Do we coddle the man to keep him? Look over the obvious and figure, one day (whenever that is) he’ll get it right (or we die hoping change comes). Or do we let him go, to break him, make him, or be made ourselves? Why do women feel responsible her man’s well-being? I’m just saying, He that finds a wife finds a good thing? I didn’t write the story, I’m just sharing the… What Is Written.

As a woman, are we that hard up for a man that we accept less effort just to have a bag of bones to say “I gotta my man”? Is it that good to have nothing that you have to work hard to f a t t e n up just to keep him? Is it a sense of duty to save him or you?

In this hip hop nation, I heard it just like you’ve heard it. “I’m down for my man” Or better yet, “Yeah, I am a ride or die chick”. Young ladies say it everyday as if they are positioned to “man up”. But if you are manning up, what is he doing?

If you want more, be and expect more.

No matter the climb or struggle within, trust God with every heavy situation and circumstance. He is still the God of catching cares. His glove is never frayed or broken.

Stay encouraged in the heavy– and move Forward
Real Ministry: VeeVeca

VeeVeca Lavoira,Author www.Verbalconquest.net   

“Faith does not deny FACTS, it CHANGES them“