Relationships Archives

Surviving Mr Wrong

 

Mary J Blige (w/Drake) video “Mr. Wrong.”

SURVIVING MR. WRONG
By Shelia M Goss

How many times have you heard one of your girlfriends complain about the man they are with consistently? In your mind, you’re probably thinking, “why don’t you just leave him alone?” It’s easier said, than done.

Are we a glutton for punishment? Why do we continue in a relationship with a man that is apparently “not the one?” Once you realize there is life beyond a dead-end relationship, then you can take steps to resolve the issue.

Here are five sure ways to Surviving Mr. Wrong.

1. To thine self be true.
Be honest with yourself. Ask yourself why are you staying when you should be leaving. Are you afraid to be alone? Do you think you won’t survive without a man in your life? It’s time to sit back and re-evaluate your life. Find out why are you so dependent on someone who may not have your best interest at heart. Only you can make the decision to leave and start anew.

2. Laughter is fuel for the soul.
Life is serious; however find time to enjoy life. Don’t let being with someone who is wrong for you rob you of your joy. When was the last time you laughed? I mean a real laugh that made your head hurt. Grant it, starting over can be hard, but it can also be rewarding. Get back in tune to what makes you happy. If all else fails, make a point of watching comedies and bring a little laughter into your life until having a smile on your face is an every day thing.

3. Surround yourself with positive people.
Now this may be harder than you think. The saying “misery loves company” is so true. Some people close to you might not agree with your actions. Those are the ones you will need to keep at arms lengths as you go through your transition. Take an active role on having a positive attitude. Read and study your bible. Find positive affirmations and read them daily. Post them on your mirror in the bathroom, on your refrigerator, whatever you have to do to keep yourself in a positive frame of mind. Sign up for positive affirmations via email if you have internet access. For example, Jewel Diamond Taylor sends out daily affirmations via email.

4. Pamper yourself.
If there ever was a time for you to pamper yourself, NOW is the time. If you’re not already doing so and can afford it, treat yourself to a manicure and pedicure. In fact, why not go way out and treat yourself to a day at the spa. Get in tune with what your body and spirit needs. If you’re on a budget, there are plenty of things you can do for yourself at home. Take long bubble baths, light those candles and treat yourself to a candlelight dinner, Read the book you’ve been meaning to read. Pull out your favorite CDs and sing along. You’ll be amazed at how soothing music can be to the soul.

5. Don’t be a hermit.
You may feel like locking yourself in your room, but now is not the time to go into hiding. Yes. You need private time to access the situation and get back on track, but do not allow this period to deprive you of mixing and mingling with others. It goes back to surrounding yourself with positive people. Visit a friend or relative that you haven’t seen in awhile. Not saying you have to be a social butterfly, but why not open up your horizons and meet new people.

Here’s one positive affirmation to start you off on your journey of surviving Mr. Wrong:

I survived MR WRONG…anything else has to be a step towards making my life right.

 Parris in my book V.I.P. survived her Mr. Wrong. Find out how in V.I.P.

About V.I.P.: When fans of R & B Diva Parris start dissing her online, Parris knows she has to do something to revive her declining music career. She needs a hit song and fast. CJ “The Hitmaker” is a super producer looking to expand his portfolio. When these two meet, sparks fly, but trouble awaits between the pages. Being V.I.P. comes with a whole lot of drama from groupies and people from their past. Will Parris and CJ be able to mix business with pleasure without getting caught up in a media frenzy? Find out in V.I.P.

V.I.P. is available for Kindle, Nook, and your PC.

For KINDLE USERS, go directly to AMAZON by CLICKING HERE.
FOR NOOK USERS,  go directly to BarnesandNoble.com by CLICKING HERE.
For all others, go directly toSMASHWORDS by CLICKING HERE.

Love Is…

Love is __________!

What is love to you? Stop by and share.

Love is kind.
Love is gracious.
Love is forgiving.
Love is humbling.
Love is giving.
Love is you.
Love is me.
Love is truly being free.

The Don’ts of Dating

Here’s an excerpt from my post on Dallas Examiners.

Do you get nervous before a first date? Dating should be fun and when you meet a person you’re really interested in, you really want things to go perfect. Here are a few things not to do on a first date:
 

  • Don’t talk about your Ex. Unless, the other person asks you about your ex, do not spend the entire date talking about problems you and your ex encountered.
  • Don’t do all of the talking. How many times have you been out with someone and they go on and on about themselves and never let you get a word in edge wise. Give the other person time to talk. Listening is just as important as talking.

To read the rest, go to: http://www.examiner.com/romance-in-dallas/things-not-to-do-on-a-first-date

The Dating Application

datingandjobinterview.jpgWhat if we treated dating like we do a job or an interview? Companies pre-screen applicants before deciding to give them an interview. Why don’t we pre-screen guys more before deciding to give them our hearts? For example:

  1. Applicants fill out applications (ask potential date questions).
  2. Applicant gets an interview (go out on date to learn even more).
  3. Interviewer takes notes (evaluates all information & decide if you want to continue dating).
  4. Interviewer does a background check (background check could be asking friends/relatives/or official criminal background check)

THE DATING APPLICATION (author unknown)

In compliance with applicable laws, this woman typically does not discriminate because of age, sex, race, color, religion, national origin, veteran status or disability. But because I am a woman, I can do whatever  I want to do. Instructions: Please print. Be sure to answer all questions. If a question does not apply to you, answer with “no” or “not applicable”. Do not substitute any bull for the information requested. Please attach 3 references. Do not use family members, homeboys or cut buddies that you claim you are just friends with. We would prefer if you use past girlfriends, coworkers, or someone that really does not give a flip about this one way or the other and will not lie for you.

Note: I do offer the opportunity for advancement. Upon outstanding behavior, you may be promoted to boyfriend, fiancé, or even husband if you are lucky.
PERSONAL INFORMATION
Last name First Middle
Social Security Number
Present Address (please attach a current bill for verification. Photocopies not accepted)
How long?
City State Zip
Verified?
Yes No
Telephone Number and area code
Home ( ) Work ( )
Person to notify in case I have to cut you
Name Phone ( )
Position Desired
Hours available
Gainfully employed?
Yes No
If yes, where?
If no, Kick Rocks and your application will be permanently destroyed.
Adequate transportation?
Yes No
If no, Kick Rocks and your application will be permanently destroyed.
Currently holding another position as someone’s husband/boyfriend/Boo?
Yes No
If yes, Kick Rocks and your application will be permanently destroyed.
 
Have been properly screened for STD’s?
Yes No
Dates and what medical facility? Also, please provide proof.
 
Ever engaged in any intimate activity with a male that should be strictly between a male and female?
Yes No
If yes, Kick Rocks and your application will be permanently destroyed.
 
Married?
Yes No
If yes, Kick Rocks and your application will be permanently destroyed. Just so you know, your wife will be contacted at the phone number or address you have listed above. Sorry bastard!!
 
Baby Mama Drama?
Yes No
If yes, please explain
 
Bad Credit?
Yes No
If yes, please explain
 
Have you ever been convicted
of a felony?
Yes No
If yes, please explain (anything other than possession of marijuana or 1 DUI, Kick Rocks and your application will be permanently destroyed.)
 
Have you ever been terminated from or
asked to resign from a previous relationship?
Yes No
If yes, Please explain
 
Circle anything that applies God fearing Respectable Believes chivalry is dead
can handle minor housekeeping duties phone rings all time of night
lies uncontrollably effective listener goal oriented handsome nice dresser
can pick up the tab without having to file bankruptcy don’t have a girlfriend
good with my hands trustworthy kind loving
willing to slide a sister some change to help her out if need be
 
                 
EDUCATION
Education
Name and location
of institution
Grade
Average
Did you
Graduate?
If you graduated, what was your
Degree and major
High school
and/or G.E.D.
   
Yes No
 
College
   
Yes No
 
College
   
Yes No
 
Graduate
School
   
Yes No
 
Other institutions
attended
   
Yes No
 
ADDITIONAL INFORMATION
Use this space to list any reasons why you, above all others, should be selected as my man.
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________
APPLICANT’S STATEMENT
I certify that the information contained in this application is correct and understand that falsification of this information is grounds for dismissal. I authorize this woman to conduct an investigation of my background for the purpose of confirming the information contained on my application and/or obtaining other information which may be material to my qualifications for her man. I authorize any individuals or entities contacted during this investigation to give you any and all pertinent information they may have, personal or otherwise, and release all parties from any and all liabilities, claims or law suits in regard to the information obtained.
I certify that I have read, understand and agree with the above.
__________________________________________________________________________________________
Applicant’s Signature Date

redcarpettourimage 
The Hollywood Deception Red Carpet Tour stops at Award Winning Author Gwyneth Bolton’s Blog today as I discuss the Real Signs of Falling in Love.

As a reader and writer of romance, I love the scenes when the characters realize they are actually in love with the other character. They try to reject the idea of love, but underneath all the denials, love is there. Like in fiction, there are signs when a person falls in love, even if they want to ignore them. To read the entire post, go to: http://gwynethbolton.com/blog/2010/04/27/guest-blogger-shelia-m-goss-shares-the-real-signs-of-falling-in-love/

Red Carpet Double Feature

redcarpettourimage The Hollywood Deception Red Carpet tour makes two stops today. Join in for some lively discussion at a relationship hot spot – SingleBlackMale.org. I am today’s guest blogger and I talk about Relationship Makeovers and why you shouldn’t do it. To read the post, go to: http://www.singleblackmale.org/2010/04/19/relationship-makeovers-fail/

If you’re trying to figure out what side dish to make with one of your meals, I have the perfect side dish. I call it “Shelia’s Almost Too Good To Be True Broccoli & Cheese Casserole.” You know I’m not a vegan, because yes, this sister here loves meat, but one of my writing friends Michelle McGriff is, so I shared a recipe that anyone could use. To try your hand at the recipe, go here: http://ow.ly/1A9lq

Hope to see you on the tour.

Contest & Hollywood Deception eMag Issue #2

Click on the image below to open issue two of the online magazine. At the end of some of the articles, there are questions. Be sure to leave your comments about the articles back on this blog post and be automatically entered in the three March contests. The more comments you have on the posts with “contest” in the blog title, the better chances you have of winning.
hollymag2

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