The Against All Odds 2008 Virtual Book Tour is stopping here today. Niambi Brown Davis, debut author of From Dusk to Dawn, is our guest author/blogger today. She has written an article titled I Love Music – Any Kind of Music that she is sharing with readers. She will also be dropping in during the day to leave comments, answer questions and find out what’s on our play list. Additionally, check out her blog to find out how you can enter to win prizes including the beach bag created by main character, Ayo, FREE BOOKS and a few other prizes. Click links to visit Niambi’s website and blog.
I Love Music – Any Kind of Music by Guest Blogger Niambi (Brown) Davis
For Christmas 2006 my family created a monster. They presented me with an I Pod Nano. That thin silver rectangle and I are joined at the hip – I do not leave home without it. In the vinyl, reel-to-reel and eight-track era, music lovers had to suffer through an entire album even if only two songs were worth listening to. But it is the 21st century, and thanks to I Tunes and MP3 magic, all it takes is click and pay to build a custom play list.
Back in the day, the Ojays sang “I Love Music.” And I do – any kind of music. There is a little bit of everything on my play lists. I remember crossing the Chesapeake Bay Bridge on a bright and beautiful day with the sounds of Dizzy Gillespie and Sonny Stitt blowing in my ear. Did I really play my main man Luis Miguel 85 times in one month? And Russell Watkins, putting his glorious tenor to the classical “Nella Fantasia.” He is called “The Voice” for a reason! When I want to imagine myself in Old Havana, I mix a mojito and listen to the late Ibrahim Ferrer. That man’s voice was smooth like golden, aged rum. Cannot miss reggaeton or the Delta blues of Howlin’ Wolf and Son House.I do love the harmonica and slide guitar.Sometimes I am in the mood for the boisterous call of DJ Khaled or the Eastern-flavored rhythms of Panjabi MC. Of course, I love calypso, (Byron Lee wit’ de band) but the most-played of all are the Latin, from the old-school Hector Lavoe and the Fania All-Stars right up to the stars of 2008.
I listened to all of this while writing From Dusk to Dawn. And then I had a thought – instead of simply writing to music, why not create a musical journey through the lives of my characters – a play list that speaks to the love story of Ayo and Bilal at their happiest, through their challenge, the most trying and the happiest times of their lives. The idea turned into a CD that became part of my promotional give-away at Romance Slam Jam.It was a real labor of love – after all, there are only so many songs to fit on one CD – maybe I should have made a double set! I left off Edith Piaf (whose story was one of this year’s Oscar-winning movies). But I did include The White Stripes – gotta give it to the white boy – he knows his way around a blues guitar! There’s some Jill Scott, some Etta James, some Phyllis Hyman and Wynton Marsalis, that genius with the golden horn. And I could not make a mix without Alex Torres y su Orquesta!
This is becoming a habit; I have got two books to follow – and I am already planning the next play lists!
But, enough about me–Shelia and readers, what’s on your play lists?
Niambi was born in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, and raised on the Eastern Shore of Maryland. She and her family lived for many years in Washington, DC and for three and a half years, made the Republic of Trinidad & Tobago their home. She has written for Bronze Thrills, True Confessions and Black Romance Magazines. Niambi indulged her passion for sailing and travel by serving as publicist for the Black Boaters Summit and as a member of the National Association of Black Travel Writers. A script for her first digital novella has been accepted and published by Arrow Publications, LLC. Presently, Niambi writes for Travel Lady Magazine. Aside from travel and writing, Niambi is an avid reader of historical fiction, and deeply involved in tracing the history of both branches of her family tree. Her day job is running the business of Sand & Silk / Soleful Strut, her own line of handcrafted bath and body products.
No matter how busy you are, you likely have some dead time on your hands. That dead time could be the thing standing between you and your success.
If you’re like most people today, you seem to have more on your to-do list than you can possibly achieve on any given day.
Well, you need to tweak your to-do list.
Here is the deal: You can’t do everything you’d like. And only a few things you need to do will really have the biggest impact. So focus on the few to get the biggest bang out of your day.
Go over your to-do list. Consider each item that’s on it. Now determine which one or two items have the potential to make the most impact today. Which items are important enough to you that, if you did nothing but those two things, you could produce amazing results? Now, focus on those two things.
Designing your day for success means making tough choices. Perhaps you would like to do all the things on your to-do list, but if you want to get results, you have to choose which of those things you will focus on, and which you will either move to another time, let someone else handle, or drop altogether.
Popular culture has brainwashed us into believing that we can have it all, and all at the same time. That is a fallacy that is setting a lot of people up for failure. The concept of having it all, all at the same time means ignoring the power of focus. It also forces us to pursue unrealistic goals. So instead of trying to do every single thing, choose the one or two that will have the biggest impact for you.
It may take a bit of getting used to at first, when you’re used to trying to fit so much in, but once you start approaching each day with focus, you will meet with success. You will zoom in on the high-impact tasks and move to complete them. Suddenly the number of completed tasks will increase because you are giving appropriate time to what’s important, instead of rushing through a bunch of unimportant tasks as well.
Here are four questions to ask about each task on your to-do list. Asking these questions will help you figure out which are the most important tasks to tackle on any given day:
What will be the impact of this task if I complete it?
What will be the impact if I do not complete this task?
Will completing this task move me closer to my ultimate goal?
Is there anyone else within my organization that I can allow to complete this task instead of me?
What you may discover is that you’ve been spending too much time on tasks that may need to be done, but do not need to be done by you. If that is the case, are these tasks you can completely eliminate or are they tasks which need to be handled by someone else? For instance, if your strength is writing books and speaking on your book’s topic, should you outsource your accounting or bookkeeping responsibilities? If you need to focus on bringing in new sales, should you really be the one dusting the office and dumping the trash? Which of your tasks need to be done by someone else, allowing you time to focus on what you do best?
This same concept can be applied at home. Perhaps it’s now time for you to hire someone to help with housework, or for the rest of the people in the household to take on some chores so all of the work does not fall to you. This could give you more time to do the most meaningful tasks, and still make sure other tasks – such as mopping – still get done.
Design your day for success by focusing on what is most important.
Monica Carter Tagore speaks and writes on success, goal achievement and entrepreneurship. She is the author of Zoom Power: Your Key to Hitting Your Personal, Business and Financial Targets. Learn more at www.knowledgewealthseries.com.
Be sure to stop back by tomorrow as Monica Carter Tagore discusses - Your three-point approach to success.
This week besides the regular relationship topics, I’ll be showcasing helpful information from Monica Carter Tagore as she offers tips on pushing you closer towards your goals.
Monica Carter Tagore is the author of Zoom Power: Your Key to Hitting Your Personal, Business and Financial Targets.
Learn more about Zoom Power & Monica Carter Tagore below:
What is Zoom Power about: Zoom Power: Your Key to Hitting Your Personal, Business and Financial Targets helps release people from their self-imposed limitations. Many people want to be successful in life, but they think they can’t attain it. They think success is something only “other” people have. But Zoom Power helps readers see success isn’t some mysterious force bestowed only upon a “lucky” few, it’s accessible to anyone who chooses to go after it with focus and perseverance.
What are the keys to success? Two elements essential to success are focus and perseverance. These are the elements that make up the Zoom Power Equation for success. These elements are critical because focus – concentrated effort – creates power. Perseverance is important because it protects against the natural inclination to be discouraged at a disappointment. Perseverance is key because on the way to our goals and dreams, we will meet some hard times, but if we persevere, we can keep moving on and emerge on the other side of disappointment to find success.
What are some strategies people can use to implement what you suggest in the book? Well, there are several strategies. One is to get clear on what you want. Most people are hazy about what they’re working toward. So get clear about what you want by defining your goal: instead of just saying you want to lose weight, say how much weight you will lose and in what kind of time frame. Another strategy is to write down your goal. If it’s not written down, it’s not happening. Taking a goal from your head and putting it on paper kind of seals the deal; it makes that aspiration more real.
What are some other suggestions from Zoom Power: Well, there are several. One is this: Guard your mind. What I mean by that is you can’t entertain all the negative thoughts floating around. When you are on your road to success, you’ve got to fortify yourself with fuel for the journey. That fuel is confidence. One way to build confidence is to see the potential in your opportunities and not dwell on doubt, misgivings and the negativity of others. That may mean you’ll have to reduce – or eliminate – conversations with certain people. It may mean you spend less time reading certain things that don’t support where you are trying to go. We can’t control the thoughts that enter our minds, but we can control what we choose to entertain and embrace.
What if others think your dream is crazy? Well, it’s your dream, not theirs. That means you sometimes have to be your own best cheerleader. You have to believe in the crazy. It may seem weird or off the beaten path to others, but if your dream is worthwhile, then believe in it. You will see it in your mind long before others see it in reality.
You present the counter argument that we can’t have it all. Isn’t this a bit unorthodox? Well, it may not be what people want to hear, but it’s true. And, quite frankly, liberating. The thing that gets people into trouble is trying to do every single thing on their to-do lists and to be everything to everyone. You can’t have it all, so stop trying. That means make some smart choices and do those things that are most important or pressing.
Lots of people hear inspiration, but it doesn’t seem to work. They read books that are inspirational. They attend conferences and events that are uplifting. Yet, they seem to remain in the same positions they were before reading the books or attending the events. What gives? Well, this is the thing about inspiration. Inspiration is something that sparks a thought. It gets you thinking about the possibilities for yourself. But you must then take that inspiration and turn it to action. Whether it’s Zoom Power or some other information source, the information source is there just to get you started. You’ve got to act upon what you learned.
Tell us about Monica Carter Tagore. What do you do? Well, I am the president of a copywriting, design and publishing company and am the publisher with my husband, of Knowledge Wealth Series, www.knowledgewealthseries.com, which is an online resource for entrepreneurship and business for creative people. We launched this project as a way to help other creative people learn how to turn their talents and expertise into impact and income. Many people have talents or abilities but are unable to turn those into real businesses. We give people information and assistance in doing that. We offer articles, books, e-books, coaching and other resources. I also speak on entrepreneurship, success and empowerment through workshops and keynotes.
What other projects are you working on? Well, Knowledge Wealth Series keeps me pretty busy. We are constantly working to add resources to the Knowledge Wealth Series Web site. So I write a lot of articles on business and entrepreneurship, and lately, I’ve been conducting a lot of workshops. We’re sharing the Zoom Power message of personal empowerment so more people realize they can create unlimited success in their own lives.
What do you do when you’re not writing books, speaking or working? Well, I work a lot, because there is so much I want to accomplish. But when I’m not working, I like to watch movies, read, travel, go out to eat and spend time with my husband, typical things. I try to work out on a regular basis, and am more successful some weeks than on others. And during football season, you can find me watching football – most often the Dallas Cowboys.
I’m a romantic at heart. I believe in romance. I believe that there’s the perfect man for the perfect woman and when the two meet, all will be well in the world. At this point, you’re probably like wake up already. No, I’m not living in a fantasy world—romance is alive and well.
It’s all about love, self-love… Print this out and put it next to your bathroom mirror, ok?
1. Make a new decision every morning that you are absolutely in love with yourself. Don’t get out of bed until you can make this decision. Mwah!
2. If you feel crappy, don’t put a smiley face on it and pretend that you don’t! Your feelings are valid. Do list out the things that you are grateful for though.
3. Know that you deserve to absolutely grab life by the cajones and go for it. Dareitude, yeah!
4. Rejections, perceived failures and criticisms will happen. Remember it’s not you, it’s them! Failure is an illusion—now you know better exactly what you do want and you’ve learned how not to do something, right?
5. When life gives you lemons, Cutie Pie, put your big girl/boy knickers on and deal with it. All things are working toward good. They really are!
6. Be kind to yourself. Pay attention to your self talk. We say things to ourselves that we wouldn’t say to our dogs!
7. Give yourself the advice that you’d give a friend. We always know how to solve everyone else’s junk don’t we? Well the best friend you have is you. Believe that!
8. You have the right to reinvent yourself! You don’t have to remain stuck at who you are this minute! The people around you will have to catch up. Look at the masters of reinvention: Sean Combs, Gwen Stefani, Oprah Winfrey, Rosie O’Donnell, Madonna, Barack Obama, Michael Jackson… Um, well, do reinvent yourself with reckless abandon but do remain human!!
9. Embrace beauty within and without. Instead of looking for the ugliness in people, places, situation, seek beauty. We find exactly what we’re looking for.
10. Surround yourself with love, love, love. Anyone or anything less than loving—cut it off!
ABIOLA ABRAMS is a TV personality, filmmaker and the author of Dare. Pick up your copy of Dare at your favorite local book store or order online from Amazon.com. Be sure to visit her site at www.abiolaabrams.com.
When I’ve gone to family reunions in recent years I’ve been reminded of the reality of the history of the civil rights struggles in the middle of the last century as sitting amongst us is one of our family members who was a central figure in that struggle.
His right, in 1962, to attend the southern university of his choice required then President John F. Kennedy to have to call out federal troops and U.S. Marshals. That simple right was violently opposed and challenged by the state’s governor and its people, and resulted in some of the most tumultuous, riotous days of this nation’s history as the struggles for his rights played out.
In 1967, a photograph of this same relative being shot in 1966 as he led the civil rights march entitled “March Against Fear” from Memphis, Tennessee to Jackson, Mississippi won the Pulitzer Prize for photography (Photographer, Jack R. Thornell of Associated Press).
That this family member, James Meredith, opened doors for those of us coming behind him in search of the educations not only of our ability, but also our choice, goes without saying. That this family member has continually reached out to us individually and collectively to encourage our efforts as we reach for our own goals and objectives is unrelenting. One of the first letters of support and encouragement I received when my first book was published was from James. One of my greatest treasures will always be that letter as it reassured me that “I had a lot to say that the world needed to hear”. I believed him and as a part of that belief I have never stopped trying.
But before civil rights there was Reconstruction and my husband’s family played a key role in that lofty endeavor.
His great, great grandfather was a member of the 1866 Constitutional Convention and a number of successive legislatures, but it was his son, born in 1859, who took the new possibilities for freed black people and maximized on them and built a legacy of success that still resonates from Atlanta to Los Angeles for its ferocity.
Lieutenant-Colonel Floyd Henry Crumbly, a member of the Tenth U.S. Calvary, and honored veteran of the Spanish-American War, followed his military career with a thirst for business that in the mid 1880’s turned a $300 line of credit into one of Atlanta’s first black-owned grocery stores and him into one of the founders of Atlanta’s prestigious Wheat Street business center.
Within months Floyd Henry (after whom my husband is named) had paid off his loan and initiated purchase of the building he operated out of. A year and a half later he paid that building off and purchased the one next door. It was a momentum that he didn’t believe was just for himself, and as his prosperity increased, so did his commitment to his fellow man.
By 1890 he became the chief organizer of the Georgia Real Estate Loan and Trust Company, along with a hand full of other successful black Atlanta entrepreneurs of the time. He is credited with bringing into reality and serving on the board of trustees for The Carrie Steele Logan Orphanage which focused on the needs of African-American orphanaged and abandoned children who previously had been left to forge for themselves. In 1892 he was selected as a director of The Penny Savings Bank of Chattanooga, Tennessee, and, based on his outstanding military career, was appointed and Adjutant of the staff of Lieutenant-Colonel Thomas Grant by the Governor of the State of Georgia.
Floyd Henry Crumbly founded the Negro Historical Society of Atlanta, and, eventually he moved to Los Angeles, California. His contributions in California were many as well as noted in F.H. Crumbly, “A Los Angeles Citizen,” The Colored American Magazine (September 1905). Some of his letters to co-harts such as Fredrick Douglass and Booker T. Washington are also a part of their collections in the Library of Congress.
It is a pleasure to be able to point our children and grandchildren to the accomplishments and contributions of their bloodlines - particularly these two - and to remind them that none of us arrive at our destination alone. We are there because of the efforts, the thrusts, the sacrifices, and the tenacity of others who cracked open the doors and let in a little light to shine upon our path.
This knowledge is particularly poignant on this celebration of Black History Month.
Note: Books by and about James Meredith and FH Crumbly are available from many sources online.
Peggy Eldridge-Love is a poet, playwright, screenwriter and novelist. Her published and produced works include You Beckon and The Knoll Frames. Her poetry is included in the American Greetings 2006 African-American Almanac Day-At-A-Time Calendar. To learn more about this dynamic writer, visit her website at www.peggyeldridgelove.com or blog: http://peggyeldridgelove.blogspot.com
We’d all like to bypass the hurt and pain of choosing the wrong mate. If we could avoid the men and women who aren’t a match for us and engage someone who will celebrate us and appreciate what we bring to the table instead of someone who comes into our lives just to take whatever they can get, we would. Let me first clear up the thought that there is a simple formula to finding your soul mate—there isn’t. On the bright side, there are steps we can take that will not only prepare us mentally, emotionally and spiritually for the right relationship, but teach us how to “tune in” so we don’t miss it when the right one comes along.
Stop Looking. So many of us spend endless hours looking across the room or scanning a crowded party trying to make eye contact because we feel that it’s the only way we’ll ever find someone interesting. We spend so much time looking outward when really the search to finding someone who will compliment us starts inward. What do you want to do in life? Are you meeting your own goals? So many people are miserable when they couple up because they spent so much time seeking someone else and little or no time fleshing out their own hopes and dreams. Make yourself the focus first. That’s what being single is about. Once you get a handle on you, your likes and dislikes and what you want to do in life, it is far less likely that you will couple up with someone who doesn’t mirror the things you desire. Knowing your own purpose is the best way to be able to eliminate the counterfeits when they approach you.
Appreciate People Just As They Are. This is hard for some people because the media has us brainwashed into seeking perfection in everybody we meet. We want a Denzel face, Angelina lips, Janet Jackson body and a Bill Gates wallet, but we should appreciate everybody we meet even if we don’t consider them a potential mate. These same people can end up being potential business contacts, lifelong friends or so much more. But when we become totally enamored with the outer appearance, the car someone drives, the kind of job they have or other material things rather than bypassing those things and having a heart to heart with them, it actually speaks more of our own inadequacies than theirs. We want someone who has these things because deep down we don’t believe we’re enough. So, get those airbrushed men and women out of your minds. Real men and women don’t look like Hollywood stars in magazines anyway. The package that you’re demanding your perfect mate fit into may come with a rotten personality or abusive behavior. Broaden your mind so that you’re getting the total package of love—not just an empty shell.
Be Approachable. This goes with “appreciating people” part, but delves even deeper than that. If the perfect man or woman walked up on some of us today they would have to turn around and leave without the love they came for because too many of us aren’t approachable. We’ve been hurt and betrayed before and it shows on our face and in our body language because we are wounded and haven’t healed. We twist up our lips, we give them the death stare, we huff and puff and our answers are short and clipped as if we’d rather be wrestling alligators than having an interesting conversation with a potential someone. Who wants to get to know anybody who acts like that? We’ve all encountered hurt, but it’s unfair to make someone who may be interested in us go hacking through our walls and protective outer shell before they can even get close enough for a hello. This friendly stranger hasn’t wronged you. If you’re going to engage someone at least be decent enough to give them the clean slate that you’d expect them to give you upon first meeting. Put your armor down. Trust me, being pleasant and being cordial to people you meet doesn’t mean you’re gullible or being a push over. It simply makes you more pleasant to be around and it means that you’ve healed enough from your past to be out there safely dating again without hurting anybody.
Listen to That Still Small Voice. We all come equipped with a sense of intuition, we just have to tap into it. Sometimes we know right out of the gate that the person we are interested in is no good for us. But a lot of times we allow loneliness, the thrill of the chase, the pretty package they come in or the fact that we’re home on a Friday night to con us into being with someone we wouldn’t normally engage. Substitutes are great for people who want to spend their entire relationship acting like they’re totally into someone they could care less about. Fortunately though, the best way to find “the person” for you is to “wait” and stop accepting substitutes. If the soul mate comes while you’re engaging a counterfeit or substitute they’re likely to do an about face and you’ll miss your chance. Don’t allow your impatience to make you miss out on the experience of the real thing. When you meet that special person that still small voice will let you know, and they’ll definitely be more satisfying than someone you just took up with to warm a spot on your sofa in front of the DVD player.
Read The Plural Thing: Spiritually Preparing for Your Soul Mate. This isn’t a sales pitch. The whole reason why even in my own personal reading time I’ve gravitated more towards reading non-fiction is because people everywhere are governing their lives like characters in novels and on their favorite television shows and have forgotten how to initiate lasting and fulfilling relationships. The book uses real life experiences of women who have had issues in relationships and uses spiritual advice to help the reader get their lives back on track, where love and understanding God’s design for marriage and relationships is concerned.
Remember love doesn’t need a map to find you. You only need be receptive to it.
Linda Dominique Grosvenor has made her foray into non-fiction with the inspirational smash hit The Plural Thing: Spiritually Preparing for Your Soul Mate. Her expertise on dating and relationship issues has been used in articles for publications such as Modern Bride, Jolie, Jewel, Honey and MORE Magazine. For a chance to win one of seven (7) free copies of The Plural Thing: Spiritually Preparing for Your Soul Mate in the February, 2008 giveaway join her mailing list by sending a blank email to princessdominiqueunplugged-subscribe@yahoogroups.com before February 28, 2008. Log on to her official website at www.LindaDominiqueGrosvenor.com for details on how to request a free excerpt of The Plural Thing.
The Club Mentality: Wife … from the club … NOT HAPPENING
By Single Black Male
I remember back in college actually having to convince some of my female friends the club wasn’t a good place to meet their boyfriend. To me … I was shocked that I had to actually argue this point. I thought it was clear to everyone that the club was for finding one night stands, jumpoffs, and bucket heads … not Ms. (or Mr.) Right.
Why is the club tailored to those looking for temporary love? What is it about the club that is poisionous to the creation of true love? Why is any relationship formed in the club almost always doomed to fail? Simple … the Club Mentality.
I can’t speak for everyone, every club, everywhere, but generally speaking, the club is the definition of … “the frenzy”. There is a lot of liquor involved, its an enviroment solely focused on social interactions between men and women. The music is too loud for conversation. Lights are dim and liquor flows freely. Its one of the few places you can walk behind a female, start grind on her ass … and not break any laws or be arrested. Rules, laws, and social norms that are upheld on “the outside” … simply don’t apply here. Its a different world.
A lot of guys go to the club to take a girl home with them. They are often the most aggressive too. In addition, as a guy, you know more girls are going to be open to conversation as opposed to the “real world” … so you don’t have to worry about “bothering” someone. While physically abusing a girl is still just as wrong, all those overly aggressive moves you had to retire are now allowed and often practiced. Also, for some reason, a fight is now a possibility. While at work your calm, on the road you let people pass you, but in the club … let someone scuff your sneakers or spill your drink … bout to be a misunderstanding!
For the ladies, you know that someone is going to disrespect you. Your a** will be grabbed, someone is going to pull your arm and not want to let go, and somebody is going to be overly aggressive about getting your number. A guy is going to come up to you and start “dancing” … which is closer to sex than anything else, but for some reason … tonight its OK. And while your open to conversation for any “cute” guy who is “acting right” … you also prepared a set of statement for those … “showing their a**”.
In both cases … you’re not thinking or acting logically. You’re not the same person that you are at work, or in the grocery store, or while walking down the street. I know the thought of sleeping with someone I have known for less than 24 hours suddenly seems more appealing to me … personally. And once that liquid courage (alcohol) gets in the system … Mild mannered SBM(Single Black Male) suddenly becomes … well this post isn’t about me …
Not only is the person you meet at the club not a valid representation of this person, but its hard to take anyone as serious in the club. I’m thinking about different things, the “standards” your getting judged by are significantly different, and honestly … even if I meet Ms. Right … I still might do something stupid and probably will try to cheapen something that could have been nice. Its sad, but its so true.
I will say, there are certain lounges, Happy Hours, and upscale lounges that can provide a relatively healthy meeting place for single individuals … but that isn’t the norm.
When experienced in the right emotional, spiritual and biblical posture, sex is very good. It feels good, the energy between the two is not wasted or spilled for the sake of not wanting to get pregnant. The two, in harmony, are pleased and ultimately ecstatic with the outcome of the hours or minutes of togetherness. The heart is right, the motives are pure and the results are as God has ordained.
On the other hand, sex outside the emotional, spiritual and biblical posture leaves a person emotionally, physically, and spiritually exhausted. They are now in a confused state of mind to the point that what is and was wrong is absolutely good and right to them. They begin to experience the fear of he/she is not going to COMMIT to the relationship; or why don’t you love me. Granted, some of this goes on when two are engaged within the perimeters of biblical statues. And, knowing this to be the truth, one of the two, if not the two altogether, have tainted motives and true love and release is not the ultimate end.
I have learned that when we will ourselves to the will and instructions of what is morally good, no matter what evil comes our way we will be able to endure and still enjoy that which is better for us. If better is possible…then good should not be enough for you.
Remain pure to yourself and to God. Enjoy sex and love and marriage and the taste of life’s radiant energy in the chambers of your secret place…with your husband or wife.
Think back with me, if you will. Remember when you were younger and you’d say, “When I grow up, I’m gonna be a ________________”?. Do you remember what you wanted to be?I remember having a list (of course I had a list – I’m the chick who keeps a list of all her lists remember?). I was going to be a nurse, AND a teacher AND a dancer AND a hair stylist and a writer AND…well, you get the point, right?
As we inch further into 2008, I’ve decided that I’m going to be an ACTION HERO. Yep. An ACTION HERO. In my own life.
At the end of last year, I had a convo with my girl, Princess Dominique, about how 2008 would be the year of “Ex’s” for me:
You know what that all boils down to? ACTION! DOING something. Showing up. Making it happen.
Now, don’t get it twisted. I see myself as an ACTION HERO, not a “superhero”. In the first blog post I ever wrote, I talked about Superwoman entering a witness protection program. Trust me – she’s not coming back. Not to this address anyway.
And I realize that I don’t need her too. I got this. Being a “superhero” is way too much pressure. Folks get their expectations twisted up in a mighty way. (And to be honest, if you’re playing the role of a superhero, you got it twisted too.. Folks expect you to be able to do it all, no mistakes, and in record time. To be invincible. To not need anyone. Not need any motivation, encouragement, or rest. To just get it done all while wearing a mask.
Sometimes when you’re playing that ‘superhero’ role, it’s the only way people can *see* you, the only way they *notice* you, the only identity *they* think you have. When’re you’re not in costume, you’re invisible. It can be easy enough to buy into and if you’re not careful, it can be hell trying to peel away that mask, to slip that cape off your shoulders.
Been there. Don’t that. Outgrew the cape, the tights, and the mask. (Well, um…maybe not the mask but errah…dat tain’t nunya bidness.)
See, an ACTION HERO uses what he/she has to get it done. An ACTION HERO doesn’t rely on some mythical, magical power or tools. They work it o-u-t right where they are, with what they have.
Yep.
An ACTION HERO is simply an ordinary person doing extraordinary things.
What “extraordinary thing(s)” are I planning to do this year?
Live my life to the fullest, soak up as much joy as I can when and wherever I can. Stepping it up in such bodacious fashion that the brightness of me will set my little corner of the world on fire. Ha!
Here’s to making it happen in 2008!
And for the record, even though I’m ‘bout to be a major ACTION HERO…you can still call me MsJayy. LOL
The Against All Odds 2008 Virtual Book Tour is stopping here today. Niambi Brown Davis, debut author of From Dusk to Dawn, is our guest author/blogger today. She has written an article titled I Love Music – Any Kind of Music that she is sharing with readers. She will also be dropping in during the day to leave comments, answer questions and find out what’s on our play list. Additionally, check out her blog to find out how you can enter to win prizes including the beach bag created by main character, Ayo, FREE BOOKS and a few other prizes. Click links to visit Niambi’s website and blog.
By Guest Blogger Monica Carter Tagore
Single Black Male
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