Welcome to DAY FOUR of the special series – What Do Men Want?

Meet the panel:
Ralston, Age: 34, Occupation: Software Licensing Consultant
Tony, Age: 30′s, Occupation: Director of Operations for three mental health facilities
John, Age: 46, Occupation: Project Manager, Author
Dino, Occupation: Actor, Director
Luther, Age: 37, Occupation: Software Developer
Eathan from Idatewhite.com, Age: 39, Occupation: Sales/Business Owner
Eddie, Age: 44, Occupation: Salesman
SBM (aka SingleBlackMale.net), Age: 25, Occupation: Software Developer / IT Consultant

Today’s question:Why do you consider yourself a good man?

Ralston: I consider myself a good man because I’m mature, responsible, confident, driven, passionate, understanding, caring, loving, forgiving, uplifting, outspoken, and a few other things. But, overall, I’d simply say because I’ve been blessed to have had my father as an example.  

Tony: I am a good man because
1.I know who I am in life
2.I handle my financial life alone.
3.I have my own place to live, car, job and dreams.
4.I don’t lean on people.
5.I love the people who have shown love to me
6. I’m loyal to the people who are loyal to me.
7. I don’t lead women on. I let them know who I am and what I want. They have a choice to deal with me.

…those are some of the reasons….

John: I know how to love, support, provide, communicate, make love, be honest and loyal, be a friend, a partner, a listener, a problem-solver (and yes, that’s a part of a relationship), be in a lasting relationship, and be a man–very important. And I would never call myself a good man, only a man. A good man is in the eye of the beholder.

Dino: I put GOD first, and walk with Christ.

Luther: Yes I consider myself a good man. Perfect by no means but willing to put my mate and my children’s needs ahead of mine.

Eathan:  I’m honest…loyal…an active father… intelligent…smart…and attractive.

Eddie: I’m a good man because I believe in a committed relationship, respect all women not just my sweetheart and believe in great communication. I also love to have fun and consider myself a very great person with many hobbies and experiences that will make any women happy!

SBM: I consider myself a good man because at the end of the day, beyond my racy remarks, my jokes, and my often cynic disposition…I take care of my own; I can take care of whoever is in my life, and I am a loving individual beyond the crass exterior.  I haven’t become a great man yet…but it’s part of the 5 year plan…I’ll get there.

Welcome to DAY THREE of the special series – What Do Men Want?

Meet the panel:

Ralston, Age: 34, Occupation: Software Licensing Consultant
Tony, Age: 30′s, Occupation: Director of Operations for three mental health facilities
John, Age: 46, Occupation: Project Manager, Author
Dino, Occupation: Actor, Director
Luther, Age: 37, Occupation: Software Developer
Eathan from Idatewhite.com, Age: 39, Occupation: Sales/Business Owner
Eddie, Age: 44, Occupation: Salesman
SBM (aka SingleBlackMale.net), Age: 25, Occupation: Software Developer / IT Consultant

Today’s question:  What would make a good woman more appealing to a man?

Ralston: Again, the Biblical cliche’ for this one is “A Proverbs 31 woman”. For me, a good woman is one who first and foremost knows who she is and loves herself dearly and completely. If those two are the essence of her foundation, then there’s no need to create a list/expound on my definition.
 

Tony: Like my last statement, “Good Woman” means something different to most men. To me a good woman is one that is honest, respects herself and others, business orientated, can handle her own financial affairs, loyal to the man she loves, not drama oriented, and someone who loves their loved ones.

John: See the first question

A woman I can call my own who will let me love her unconditionally and vice versa, she does the same. A woman who can be independent (if she must), but also recognize and realize a relationship is a union of two hearts acting and loving as one. A woman who knows the meaning of the word support and the phrase, I will always be there for you. A woman who is beyond the games in life and realize life is meant to be lived, enjoyed, cherished and loved.

Dino: A woman who really puts GOD first.

Luther: See answer #1.

We are very simple creatures. Not really driven by emotions. A man is really easy to please. We do not want too much in relationships. By that I mean one that has too many requirements. We never really grow up. Give us some room to go and play sometimes. Good sex, a meal and an occasional Poker night with the boys makes me happy. A woman that has goals in life; a woman that looks through godly eyes; not seeing all the bad habits of her man, but looks to enhance the good attributes of her man.

Eathan:  Now-a-days…if she can cook. I hear that from alot of my friends…women don’t cook or think much about the normal household stuff.

Eddie: A good woman needs to define what she wants and make sure she treats a man like she would like to be treated. She should be honest, forth right and confident in herself.

SBM: This is the million dollar question but there is no blanket answer.  Every guy values things differently. For a “soul searching” individual like myself whose still not sure what I want from my future wife; for me, the one thing that no doubt will make a good woman more appealing … great head (yes … I said it).

Meet the panel:

Ralston, Age: 34, Occupation: Software Licensing Consultant
Tony, Age: 30′s, Occupation: Director of Operations for three mental health facilities
John, Age: 46, Occupation: Project Manager, Author
Dino, Occupation: Actor, Director
Luther, Age: 37, Occupation: Software Developer
Eathan from Idatewhite.com, Age: 39, Occupation: Sales/Business Owner
Eddie, Age: 44, Occupation: Salesman
SBM (aka SingleBlackMale.net), Age: 25, Occupation: Software Developer / IT Consultant

Today’s question: Why do good men love the “bad girls”?

Ralston: Very interesting dynamic that you pose. Simple cliche’ says that opposites attract, but I think it’s just an intrinsic nature to want balance, and often times that balance comes in the form of an opposite.

Tony: Well, I can’t speak for all, but some people in general feel that a “bad girl” or “bad guy” brings safety, security, drama, and excitement to the relationship. Of course it’s a misconception but there are people who feel this way. That is why you will hear someone say “so and so is nice but they are boring.” Think about that for a minute. Personally, I like a “good woman,” whatever that means.

John: The same reason good women love bad men–the perception of more exciting and adventurous times. It’s all about the bad girl will keep it real and do anything. The freak in the bedroom myth.

Dino: Not all men. I do not; it’s a headache.

Luther: Because they are sexually simulating.

Eathan:  Most men like the challenge. Lots of good men have never had the bad girl…so they want the excitement and the thrill.  Some of us good men have already been bad boys in the past…so the bad girl isn’t a challenge.

Eddie: I don’t; perhaps this one relates to a certain age group.

SBM: Uh … when did this get confirmed?  I will admit that there are a few draws to bad girls: perceived “super freak,” source of excitement in dull life, and moreso “ride or die” for her man than your average “good” black woman … but I’m not even sure what constitutes a “bad girl” … lol.

Meet the guys who finally had their say on what they want from women and what they find important in relationships:

Ralston, Age: 34, Occupation: Software Licensing Consultant

Tony, Age: 30′s, Occupation: Director of Operations for three mental health facilities

John, Age: 46, Occupation: Project Manager, Author

Dino, Occupation: Actor, Director

Luther, Age: 37, Occupation: Software Developer

Eathan from Idatewhite.com, Age: 39, Occupation: Sales/Business Owner

Eddie, Age: 44, Occupation: Salesman

SBM (aka SingleBlackMale.net), Age: 25, Occupation: Software Developer / IT Consultant

What do men REALLY want?

Ralston: Brothers really want a woman who understands that being a man doesn’t necessarily mean he’s a dog. He wants someone who will allow him to be the man at all times, not selectively, and definitely not someone who tries to control him.

John: A woman I can call my own who will let me love her unconditionally and vice versa, she does the same. A woman who can be independent (if she must), but also recognize and realize a relationship is a union of two hearts acting and loving as one. A woman who knows the meaning of the word support and the phrase, I will always be there for you. A woman who is beyond the games in life and realize life is meant to be lived, enjoyed, cherished and loved.

Dino: I want a God fearing woman. I do not know about other brothers.

Luther: We are very simple creatures. Not really driven by emotions. A man is really easy to please. We do not want too much in relationships. By that I mean one that has too many requirements. We never really grow up. Give us some room to go and play sometimes. Good sex, a meal and an occasional Poker night with the boys makes me happy. A woman that has goals in life; a woman that looks through godly eyes; not seeing all the bad habits of her man, but looks to enhance the good attributes of her man.

Eathan:  I would say a cool woman…someone that you can have fun with, relax with…not high maintenance. or nagging. She needs to hold a conversation…and be HWP aka not over weight.

Eddie: Brothers after 40 want a woman who is interesting, attractive, driven and fun to be with. We also want her to be self supportive and a “freak” in the bedroom.

SBM: I am the wrong person to ask this.  I’m still trying to figure out what I want myself, but I guess there are some basics.  I once told someone I wanted four things from a girl friend: Honesty, Companionship, Monogamy, and Sex (actually this is #1).  I think I could live a happy life with those four things … given that we “click”.  No point in trying to force something i.e., personalities clash.